If I Was The Boss of Proton: An Unemployed Man's Craze

See I told you this issue will come out. I actually wrote the whole thing, then later split it into 2 issues to further increase readership in this lousy little blog. But if you're reading this, I thank you. 


Anyway let's get on with the rest of this mad man's senseless craze on having to take over a multinational company and reforming it. After discussing corporate structure and positioning the company, we now look at how we shall allocate and maximize the potential that is existing in the company, and where we shall go from there in order to grow and strengthen as a global corporation. 


Direction
Scrap the Campro. This VTEC-wannabe is not boding well for us, and it doesn't help that we just bought an expensive MIVEC technology. Switch over to MIVEC, and start using the 2 engine on all upcoming models. All except for the Saga, which will always need to be paired with a 1.3l engine. The Saga represents value, so this new 1.3l engine will need to be a whole lot more efficient than what it is now. Having less engine variants in the brand means being able to maximize cost-efficiency on replacement parts and maintenance. It also means it is easier to manage supply chain. We will also need to learn how to make these MIVEC engines, so we can ultimately make our very own engines and make them well.

Then there's the issue on transmission. The world is giving out 7-8 Speed auto boxes, and here we are still using 4 Speed ones built using technology from the Renaissance. May I also stress that the 4th Gear is actually an OverDrive. Then there's the thing with other generic technologies like Push Start and Pedal Shifts. They add tremendous value to our products and we need to ensure we are able to at least provide these basics.

Because we have Lotus (which if it was up to me, I would not sell anytime soon because we've barely even scratched the surface of what the Lotus can give us) we shall focus on handling and sportiness. Because we also have team S2000 we can leech off the experience and know-how of these people and make our cars more reliable under extreme conditions. We could also research turbos and use them on our models in the future. I know some of these things are already being done right now, and that just means the existing company is not all crap. So think of us making Malaysian versions of Mazda6s.

It is imperative that we have an identity, anything is better than nothing. And what's worst if we've been in the industry longer than Kia and Hyundai, and that we've been government-backed all these while.



Bread and Butter
Every product across all industries in the world have bread and butter ranges. Although we are always excited to design and engineer the most advanced technologies, we need to understand while the general public are as enthusiastic about it as you are they have limited resources and their criteria for choosing a good car includes boring things like Practicality and Safety and The Number of Seats. This is the one reason why cars like the Panamera and Rapide were born. Even super car makers need to make money.

I will make all my car models official so I do not have to get my staff to constantly come up with new car names, and that they may accidentally name a car Proton Syphilis. So the range will be:

Saga
Urban zippy little cars sell very well. The City and Vios immediately became favorites. I can't imagine why the Saga will not sell, not considering external forces at the moment.

Persona/Inspira
Personally I prefer the Persona, simply because it's not somebody else's design. What is worst that having a butt-ugly car? Having an Inspira. But we shall speak of this at a later time.
This range, provided it is carefully priced, will sell like hot-cakes. It's the single most balanced segment for the Malaysian and many other markets world-wide.

Perdana
Like all brands, we need a medium-sized luxury sedan, and frankly the Perdana has long outlived it's lifecycle. This segment is important as it creates a flagship for the brand. It is the model people will look to in absolute marvel, and then buy a Persona because it's a little out of their budget. Then they will imagine driving a Perdana while in their Personas. If you're a car enthusiast you will understand what I just said.

Satria and Putra
I will maintain the Satria, constantly building on it and improving it. The Satria is a very well-balanced car, and I believe it's capabilities are very well under appreciated. Also I will reintroduce the Putra, because what is a car brand without the coupe!
These 2 models will feature the most advanced in motorsport technology the brand is capable of. What use is an S2000 team when none of the expertise are being channeled to good use? These 2 models are the flagships of performance, the 2-doors many would have bought if it wasn't for their families.

Exora
Who would argue the practicality and versatility of an MPV ( it's so rhetorical I will just put a PERIOD at the end of this sentence). And also a MINI-MPV. Or better yet, maybe come up with a Hyundai Starek equivalent. Them, Alphard and VelleFire seem to be doing well in their little niche.

SUV
This is a must. But we will probably need to do some extensive research on this highly specialized segment before making yet another SUV that can only be used on roads (flashback X6).

All these models will only have a lifespan of maximum 6 years. All models, save the sports, will have only one face-lift on the 4th year. All models exceeding 6 year of age will have to be chopped immediately to make way for new ones. We need to first be seen as an innovative and refreshing brand to be able to compete in an innovative and refreshing industry.

Conclusion

Proton was initially a man's greed. But it has become an entity. It has become the ambassador of our nation. Proton has become a part of all our lives. It is the reliable cars that we usually like to own, but it is the problematic ones we usually have special relationships with. Proton has had numerous chances at glory which they failed miserably at grasping and making full use of, but this does not make it any less potent than other companies. If I ever become the boss of Proton all this will change. Because the pride of this nation is at stake, and I believe we will do everything we can to protect it.

Everything in discussion over the past 2 weeks are just an unemployed man's dreams, and none of them hold any truths. His intentions is to merely spark the thinking side of the readers' minds, and to remind himself he can still dream of the impossible.

If I Was The Boss of Proton: A Hypothetical Dream

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proton_(automobile)

Before I begin, I would first like to point out that today's post is hypothetical. I have absolutely no intentions to snub the great minds that have been shaping the greatest conglomerates in Malaysia, nor do I have any intentions to raise any issues that will anger certain families. In contrast, I have utmost respects for them. All I want is to dream. All I want is to imagine for one brief moment I am capable of running a Multi-National Company, a company that brings along with it to the whole world a summary of Malaysia's achievements. All I want is to close my eyes and imagine what would I do if I was the boss of Proton.

I was a proud owner of a Proton. My household owned a total of 3 Proton cars, and even though we have had to pain-stakingly deal with issues of power windows and Milo-tin bodies and parts that just come off whenever they feel like, most of us can agree that the up-to-300%-tax levied on imports ensured every household a chance at owning a national car, and having a sentimental story or two to share.

In this post I will not regard Proton as an automobile company because of my limited knowledge in the industry, rather a company in distress and in dire need of reformation. Here's a little insight on my plans:

The Structure

When a company is trying to survive for over 25 years, it's apparent that there is something wrong with its administration, the company structure. This is what we need to address foremost before anything else.

At the core of a successful organization is an efficient and effective system. Efficient that it does not contain any unnecessary parts that will only slow the company down. Effective that after strip-downs it will perform better than before. Think of it as a Cayman R and a stock Cayman. The R is more efficient and more effective than the stock. Because it has a little more here and a lot less there.

Then we believe that all these while Proton never had a Mission Objective and Motto besides 'Let it Be Known That Malaysia Make Cars!' set some 28 years ago. Ever since then it has always been 'Let's Not Die On Me Now!' Well we need to change that. We need a proper direction now, actually we needed one 15 years ago.

Car companies have a passion. Some thrive on their knowledge in performance, others on their practicality and reliability. Some work to optimize their fixed costs by using similar parts on almost all models, in order to reduce costs on maintenance while not compromising on performance.

You see performance and reliability is usually at both ends of one line, whereby you'd usually either have more of one or the other. The only way for space-age technology to become cheap is when production increases to a point where the fixed cost is insignificant. Brands like Peugeot and Volkswagen thrive on this ideology. They build an expensive to maintain technology, plant them on all of their upcoming models over the next 6 years, then build enough market in the world to compete with each other in terms of supply and demand, and ultimately bring the price down dramatically.

Toyota brags their method to maintain a lean organization is through efficient management, JIT. Honda gives you sports performance in even their most luxurious cars. Mazda sells you design art alongside flawless handling, allowing you to fully maximize all given horse powers.

So what will Proton be? We know we have Lotus DNA in all our cars. Heck we managed to make the Inspira handle way better than the fellas at Mitsubishi could. Okay that's just me in denial. Maybe they just kept their skills for the EVOs. We also have super crappy, VTEC-Wannabe Campros that tend to lose so much power over the years it will not be able to move before it hits 10 years old.Then there's the issue of us owning such an expensive blueprint: the latest Lancer. But let's not rant about the past, and focus on the future.

Positioning
The most vital part of knowing what to make is to know who to make it for, and to know who else makes them for these people, and to know who are the better ones at making them. Right now Proton is sadly at the Uber Crap range in all automobile Hall of Fame. We have to change this, by having a direction. 

1. Pricing
AFTA needs to be implemented, and this means there will no longer be any protection. We need to bring our car prices down further while dramatically increasing quality. The only way to do this is through Economies of Scale: for it to sell in all corners of the world to reduce fixed cost. Work with the most competitive suppliers to reduce marginal costs. Ultimately a Persona needs to be as good as a Kia Forte, at RM 25,000 a piece.

2. Find a Market
Competitors equal market. Market equal opportunity. We must place ourselves with a competitor. I say we try to cope with Kia and Hyundai. For starters everything will need to be competitive, from design to technology, from supply chain to pricing. We must be in all countries these companies are in. We must breathe down their necks and occasionally scare them with our wits.

3. Find a Mentor
All companies have some other company they've always wanted to be or beat. Proton needs one of that. Maybe we try assessing Mazda, but only in terms of company ideology. Mazda is one of the few companies still building cars out of passion and not just money. The idea here is to absorb from Mazda design and technology know-how, and their luxury.

4. Fix All Flaws
Before we move forward and compete with the giants, we first need to open up all the closets and remove all skeletons. This includes bucking up on quality control and eradicating the power windows problem. We also need to move our company out of the budget mindset and stop making cheap cars. We need to phase out all old models and not try to milk them until they dry up. Only after all these are cleared up can be actually begin to stand up and fight.

5. Originality
An ugly car is prettier than somebody else's car. Not only did Proton thrived off the old Lancer and Mirage designs, they now bought another Lancer. And this time they didn't even spend half a thought on redesigning it to look original. It is very embarrassing to see that even after so many years being in the industry one can't even come up with the most basic requirements of a car maker: an original car.

6. Safety Standards
From now on all Proton cars will have a 5-Star NCAP rating, along with basic equipment like the ABS, SRS, EBD, CVT and tC. These are the most basic a car maker can provide for its consumers, and we shall not deprive our consumers of them.

7. Stay Competitive
Give the people what everyone else is giving: at the moment pedal shifts, 6-speed boxes, efficient engines and luxury. Then stay competitive by at least matching everything in terms of technology and luxury with competitors.

7. No More Stupid Spending
Seriously like all companies, we have limited resources to work with. We should focus on more pressing matters and stop chasing after our personal goals. Spend wisely and in areas that actually need the money. Lotus is still a stupid buy, simply because Proton hasn't even tried to extract half of what Lotus is capable of.


Next round I will be discussing issues of company direction, laying out all available resources and planning the next move with them. Then we will also be looking into the finalized ranges Proton will be making, and how we can comfortably enter new market and immediately stay competitive. Don't worry, this time the next issue will most definitely be posted next week. It's already finished, and set it to post sometime next week. There won't be another failed mini series here.

Why Shouldn't We Use Plastic Bags?

Source:  http://dikelantan.com/2011/01/01/no-plastic-bags-on-saturday/

Everyone tells everyone not to use plastic bags and to bring their own totes while shopping. But to be honest many of us don't really know why, nor do we question this trendy inconvenience.

Here's why we'd better not be using too many plastic bags:

http://www.haileycityhall.org/HELP/PlasticBagFacts.pdf

So actually the problem is not just with us demanding for these plastic bags, but also how they are being handled after we dispose of them. And, would it be quite stupid that we do not accept plastic bags from supermarkets but then buy rubbish bags to store and dispose of household waste?

Maybe scientists can stop trying to discover the God Particle and find a way to convert energy using plastic bags to power a city. That way there will be good use for them after all.

Media Sabotage

Source: http://www.textually.org/ringtonia/archives/cat_radio_phones.htm

Why do radios always have something bad to say about Malaysians? Why is it that I always get complaints from the radios saying we Malaysians are not considerate, rude on the roads, uneducated, over educated, and so on? If everything we do is so wrong, then what constitutes as a good Malaysian?

Here are few of the things I hear over and over again regarding the problems we as Malaysians are to ourselves and others. And my points turn to possible reasons as to why we behave as such

We are bad drivers. 
I love how this topic will send your else-placid mind into a sudden frenzy. Every day we encounter the most unusual of drivers, like nobody is more educated and more civilized than you, and nobody knows decent common sense like you do. And what happens next? You do the exact same because 'since everyone else are doing it why can't I?' 


Here are some reasons why we have so many bad and rude drivers in town. Rude drivers actually hate driving. They dread the moments when they have to drive to and from work every day, but they do it because they're not given options. Once they get on board, they want to get home as soon as possible. That is why they appear rude. Fact is, they're more often in a panic because they only see chaos in traffic congestions and that makes them very uneasy. Do they have a choice of taking the public transportation (kindly refer to my previous post titled Rapid Decline)? 


Other reasons include extremely irritating weather, bad traffic and trees that love to grow right in front of road signs. 


Malaysian Standard Timing?
Most of the events that require attendance on time must be done at 7:30pm for some reason, in the middle of rush hour. How do you expect someone to leave office at 6, go home, look good for your event and reach on time?


Then there's a problem with two traffic lights that can never synchronize with each other, making it impossible to traverse a road with 8 lights without stopping at all 8 lights. And also highways that are always built in Ring formats (eg: Outter Ring Road, Middle Ring Road, Inner Ring Road, KESAS, LDP) which means people will have to make big circles around so many townships when traveling. 


What is worst, when you define this constant lateness so officially you allow everyone to think that it is okay to be late all the time. Standard mah! 


Double Parking
Most developments are supposed to have a balanced ratio between number of shops/houses and number of parking lots. Developers see shops/houses as money and parking lots as waste of money. So they negligently under-provide parking, which will also increase its value when they wanna sell out the parking facilities since lack of supply increases demand and therefore price to attain this commodity. Then we have the crappiest of public transport system in the known world.


Some of you guys can wait until the traffic is not so bad to do your shopping and banking. For the rest of us, we don't get much choice, so we double park. 


Our Bad Ethics?
Seriously, have you been To China? India? Indonesia? What kind of bad ethics do we have that even the 'civilized and supreme' whites don't? We drive in the emergency lane and get it clogged up which ultimately prevents Ambulances from reaching the people who are causing the traffic jam in the first place? It happens in the most 'white' of places too.


I am not being racist here, but we have to stop worshiping the westerners and think they will not steal, kill, rob, rape, litter, spit in public and drive like complete assholes, because they do! In fact they do them more professionally than most of us. 


Know Our Festivals?
I am Chinese, suppose to be a Buddhist, and I don't even know how many birthdays Guan Yin has in a year. Seriously, not knowing about festivals celebrated by other ethnic people does not make us any less Malaysian. If you like to play the Blame Game, point fingers to the education system. I believe it is crucial that all of these should be properly taught in schools, if you think it more important than Hang Tuah Lima Sekawan.  


And if you haven't noticed, we have a tonne too many holidays a year. I say this because I think holidays are detrimental to the efficiency of the economy, and our economy runs at snail speed mostly. There is a history behind Hari Gawai and Wesak Day and I bet a lot of us have forgotten, if we were ever even educated in them. And do you know Deepavali is not the Tamil New Year? 


And in case you don't know, there are 16 festivals that Malaysians celebrate nationally. I can't even remember 16 phone numbers in my Contacts list. 



Only Talk About Food?  
Why can't we talk about other things? Why must we introduce ourselves as the Food People? Why can't we talk about beaches and mountains and Proton Colliders (not associated to the car maker whatsoever) and Derivatives of DYs and DXs? Of movements of the tectonic plates, and bonds and swaps and futures? I don't remember ever saying Hi to a friend and asking if he/she has eaten, unless I was hungry and wanted company.  



 Snobbish Society
Why don't we help others in need? Why don't we stop at the side of the roads and help a fellow Malaysian in need of a tyre change? Why don't we talk to each other when waiting in line in banks? Why do some of us older Malaysian try to cut queue whenever possible in banks? 


Because most of the time the people in need are out to scam and rob us out of desperation, we have too much worry in our heads and have no mood to engage in conversations with strangers, and most banks don't have special lanes for Senior Citizens despite advertisements. 


Are we all also racist?
As far as I know racism in this country has always been sparked by certain people to keep the people fighting with each other while they get what they want: power and money. We are beyond tolerance; we celebrate each other's festivals, adopt children of different ethnicity, work in multi-ethnic companies, and respect each other's beliefs very well. No problems.  



What actually makes us Malaysians?

Color? Race? Religion?


Or the fact that we are all born in the same country, speak the same rojak language, and eat various versions of food we don't remember its origin? Who else in the world would know what Gostan meant? Can't we be Malaysian and have annoying fake Australian accents? Can't we be Malaysian and not know how to be early for appointments?  


  We are a globalised society, and our involvement in the world can not be underestimated. I would really appreciate that radio stations, in their feeble attempt to promote this mythical creature known as 1Malaysia, at least associate us with a little more pride. The world can tune in to our radio stations. Remember that when you insult and embarrass your fellow country-people.


By judging ourselves so quickly and negatively, we show the world we are a very shallow society and we have too much hate for each other. Let this end shall we.

The Failure

Many of us spend our lives trying to keep up with expectations. Expectations set by ourselves, and expectations given to us by those around. With expectations come failure. These are my list of failures for as long as I can remember.

I failed to cause complications during birth. The labor took so long the doctor had to have me pulled out with a clamp to the head.

I failed to keep from crying out loud in restaurants and during my first flight. I know I was very young back then, but some babies don't seem to have problem keeping their mouth shut.

I failed to look at my first day at the kindergarten with positivity, unlike my brother. It says a lot about a person, I was told. And I was constantly reminded of this and many other shortcomings compared to my brother.

I failed to finish my food at the same pace as the rest of the world. There is a set time one is require to finish all his food, and this cannot be changed.

I failed to be able to understand Math and recite the multiplication tables without pausing every now and then.

I failed to be able to talk efforlessly like everyone else.

I failed to come home with straight As on my report card. Keeping it all blue was itself a giant task.

I failed to find myself useful in any form of sports, like every physically active son would. I couldn't run, I couldn't jump, I couldn't handle the handball. I couldn't even hop in a sack.

I failed to take criticism well. I constantly review everything I did, and told myself to never repeat again when I did something wrong. And I would be pretty hard on myself. So when other people told me the same thing, I had problem handling the stress.

I failed to keep a cool head at all times. I tend to overreact to situations, good or bad. I'd then find those reactions very very embarrasing.

I failed to lead and inspire anyone.

I failed to find the correct group of friends who'd stay in libraries and study, and talk about Sengir Vampires and why Neutrons don't have to pay for their drinks in bars.

I failed to start smoking, I failed to not teach people how to smoke, I failed to stop my brother from smoking.

I failed to keep the family in one piece. I failed to keep the both of them from constantly fighting and throwing chairs and fists at each other. I failed to step up and yell at the both of them when I could.

I failed to live up to my family's tradition. I can't read and write, and I can't speak the two most important dialects of my ancestors. Those that I can speak are 'pasar' standard.

I failed to remember all the fishing knots and practices. I failed to remember how to unhook fishes. I failed to remember how to be safe when fishing. Even after years of fishing, I failed at everything.

I failed at not losing anything. My house keys, my dad's watch, my house keys, my handphone, pens, pencils, bags, books.

I failed at not crashing anything into everything. My bike into a motorcycle, an SUV along the side of a car, and a car onto a column.

I failed at getting even the most decent set of scores in my exams.

I failed to choose the area in which I wanted to advance my studies. I failed to not waste their savings on my stupidity.

I failed to get a decent self-respecting job that would've paid me good and given me handsome benefits. I failed to understand the importance of being with majority.

I failed to have a decent relationship with any woman without everything falling apart after only months. Every time.

I will fail to give my parents grand children. Partly because there are too many skeletons all around, and I think it's best to have them buried with me.

I will fail to accept critisicm properly because I will always be very hard on myself for fucking things up again and again.

I will fail to succeed in life because I don't always follow through with my plans.

I will fail to understand unconditional love because I don't believe it exists.

I will fail to accept God because there hasn't been anything Godly in this world as far as I know.

I will fail to understand the sanctity of humanity because I think humans are the most barbaric and uncivilized of all races living on Earth.

I will fail to make anyone proud because that would make me hate myself.

I will fail to be the model person who has absolutely no credit card and car loan debts overdue by the months.

I will fail to get a decent self-respecting job that will pay me for doing just what I should.

I will fail to settle.

I will fail to be smart and experienced, because before I become smart enough in an area I move on to something else I'm completely idiot in.

I will fail to live until the age of 75 with 3 kids and 9 grand kids and a loving wife and a big bungalow with a big land and 3 dogs running around the green lawn.

So far I can say I haven't succeeded in anything expected of me. Yes I got into drugs and street gangs too. I stole. But no killings and rapings and robbings. That's not enough for the society. They expect model samaritans with a constant smile on the face and a perfect hair cut. They want ties and suits, they want absolute conformity.

I will fail at that too, conforming for the sake of conforming.

The Rapid Decline

Source: http://www.vincentchow.net/wp-content/uploads/2006/10/lrt.jpg

See, I've got a new template! I know it's still one of those default ones that don't require brains to change. I know how to edit the HTML in Blogger, just too lazy to make things complicated. Hard enough to always have to replace HTML codes for Nuffnang. And I've inserted Share and +1 buttons! Up to date, kan?

On to more pressing matters.

Lately the traffic have been a bitch, worse when it rains during rush hour ( which is nearly everyday now). Worst when it rains during the rush hour of a Friday. We hate getting stuck in our cars for hours. There's no place to pee, our asses are numb, the radio blare rubbish all the time, drivers get cranky and rude as if they're the only ones stuck in the jam, and you see the start of your weekend wither away. You can't smoke because a storm is riding outside, and you get more annoyed with BFM DJs constantly going UHHH AHHH ERRR between every word.

So driving in KL really sucks because on top of the bad traffic jams we also have a severe lack of parking lots in every single shop-office, office building and shopping mall. Developers officially have to adhere to strict guidelines to the amount of parking lots they must provide based on the number of shop/office/retail lot they offer. But with a little stack of cash, that strict guideline can always be altered. So developer pay a lot to build more retail/office/shop lots and less parking spaces, as this makes them more money. There you have it, the developers started it, and we Malaysians did the rest; double and triple-park.

On a different matter all together, MALAYSIA is not pronounced MALAYSSSSSIA, but MalaySHia. If you want to ber-bahasa baku, call it MALAI-SIA. Please don't be smart. If it is in English, then it shall be pronounced in English.


But what are the alternatives? Well we have public transportation! Once (many many years ago) proudly bragged as one of the best public transportation system in South East Asia (no need for references), now drowning in a sea of it's own shit with no chance of survival even with government intervention.

Bus
A long, long time ago there was the legendary Mini Bus. If you have had the luxury of being a customer to this, now mythical creature, pink rocket you'd agree when I say: Take The Mini Bus and You're Guaranteed To Arrive 10 Minutes Early. Always. The Mini Bus were efficient, most efficient Malaysia has ever seen a bus company operate. Why? Because bus drivers and their conductors were given a handsome cut of the day's profits by the operators. This motivated the hardworking lot to keep pushing for time.
Fine the drivers were mad and I remember hanging out of the main door a few times because it was so packed with passengers. And they were not air-conditioned, but that was because at that time all buses were not air-conditioned.

Then they were abolished, torn down, god knows why. The buses were sent to serve in cities in Sabah and Sarawak. I don't know if they're still running around towns there, or if they're as brutal as before. From KL Klang to City Liner and Intrakota, all companies fail, consolidate, and fail again until the government finally stepped in and reclaimed everything under the name of Rapid (insert city name). Why have they been failing? Because they suck. Bus lanes are never effective anywhere in town, and because the buses were always at least half-an-hour late, nobody dare rely their time on these worthless trash.

Taxi
Ah, the cab service in KL. Where shall I begin? They charge you RM 20 to take you from KLCC to Pavilion, they are not well groomed, they smell bad, they dress dirty, they don't comb their hair, they spit like camels, they smoke in the taxis, their taxis are smelly and dirty and filled with fleas, and they never take you anywhere you wanna go because they want to avoid the traffic.
Most of them drive like complete idiots, others don't know their way around town. Some tell you sob stories of their sad families and then ask you for extra money. Some also take the longer route to your destination and try to rob you of as much cents as possible.
And now we have the blue taxis, which are supposed to be more professional. I just see it as different package, same product. Unreliable.

LRT
We have 2 major LRTs in town, both circle the least densely populated parts of the Valley. Not in a good way, because all the land surrounding most stops are filled with houses. No apartments, no empty land for development. To be fair, save a few stops: University, Bangsar and KL Sentral. You can cross between the two lines somewhere in town but you'd have to run across the road under the rain. They breakdown so often it's no longer funny.
That many years ago the Putra Line (now KJ Line) was built to accommodate current demands of that time, so they built a line that could take a 2-coach train at a time (probably not an accurate figure, but you get the point). Today if you're waiting for the train in the morning to get to work, you'll have to let at least 4 trains pass before you can board into one.
The funniest thing is, to get to an LRT station you have to drive. And the LRT people don't provide ample parking lots for customers, causing severe double and triple parking problems all over.

Monorail
By far the most waste-money rail in the history of all waste-money rails in Malaysia. It's expensive, it's always late, it's slow, it's small, and it doesn't go anywhere other LRTs don't also stop.

No I have nothing else to say about this useless rail system.

KTM Komuter
Okay this line is actually quite useful, but that's because it's an actual train transportation system revamped by KTM. I think it was quite a successful project, considering others.

The Problem
The problem is not in bad public transportation management, it's in the unwillingness to improve on them. Why? Proton and Perodua need customers, no? Do you think if our public transportation system is as efficient as Shanghai's we'd bother buying cars? Maybe just us few who actually love driving. Then the LRT stations were built on lands owned by friends of families of some Masonians (pure baseless assumption).

The Paradox
The bigger problem actually lies with us, the operators and the consumers. Taxi drivers don't want to go into traffic-congested parts of the city, so they'd rather lose business. Then they complain they don't have business. Then they say they cut cost by not cutting their hairs, leaving their beards, and showering once every two days. Then they say the meters a causing them to lose money because the cost is higher. Then they charge people a crazy RM20 just to get behind KLCC. Then people don't take their cabs because they smell bad and they con. Then they don't get business.
Then everyone would rather drive, causing traffic jams all over town. And that will prevent taxi drivers from ever wanting to enter those areas for fear of getting stuck in traffic.

Conclusion
Until teleportation gets invented or oil completely runs out before a proper electric car gets invented, don't expect rush hour traffic jams to go away. Don't expect taxi drivers to dress well and smell good. Don't expect the Mini Bus to return.

Times Questions The Free Market

I woke up this morning and I see an article from Times questioning free market like I did a few weeks back. Perhaps I should quickly finalise my answer to the crisis before someone else does. Nobel Prize!!! *drool* Anyway here is the article http://curiouscapitalist.blogs.time.com/2011/09/30/state-capitalism-vs-the-free-market-which-performs-better/

Not too long ago we see in the newspapers that 41 Malaysians go bust every day, and that it is the fault of these individuals because they do not know how to budget. Parents do not know how to properly educate their children to the difficulties of making money. Children thought money need not be made, rather given every month by some Santa Clause. Yea right as if these kids are that stupid.

It is easy for certain authorities to point the fingers at irresponsible and uneducated group of people for their inability to live within their means and fall prey to material temptation. I'm sorry but we are no longer in the 80s. Our country's education ststem has always been bad, but not because the authorities didn't know how to copy a successful system. They didn't want to breed smart-asses who'd question their crooked ways. Sadly in the midst of it they forgot to educate themselves.

So I will tell you now that it's not entirely your fault you are bankrupt and your kids understand that you need to work for money. The following are reasons why you are poor and struggling, possibly even more sensible than those provided by some newspapers.

Insane Cost Of Living
About a month ago I met a friend of my dad's. He is almost 60, and is driving for a rich Dato. He told me that he came down to KL in 1984, which was one year after I was born. His first job was as a Pizza Hut delivery boy, and his salary was RM 750 a month. Then I drove pass a Dominoes Pizza outlet one day, and saw a job offer for a delivery boy paying RM 800 a month.

How is it possible that in the span of 27 years the salary of a pizza delivery boy only risen RM 50? Don't try the bulshit Zero Inflation. Tun Mahathir's naiviety showed us it is impossible. I'm sorry I had to use that description on one of the most respected leaders, but everyone even remotely exposed to Economics will know it is impossible to achieve Zero Inflation in a democracy.

I have forgotten how to calculate the value of RM 750 in today's money, but I bet it's kinda what most degree-holders will be making at their second jobs today. More, maybe.

We don't need special convenient stores selling crap at lower prices. We need all the dirty hands off our economy, and be allowed to function like it's supposed to.

Market-less
First you don't get paid enough because the economy hasn't been funtioning properly since 1984 (at least). Then we need to buy crappy non-nationally made national cars for ridiculous prices. Then our local banks charge mad interest rates because the cash rates given to them by Bank Negara is mad. Then we can't opt for public transportation because the authorities replaced the only funtioning bus company, Bas Mini (which arrives every 10 minutes) to completely incompetent consolidates that keep going bust because they can't ever seem to arrive on time (45 minute gaps). Then they blame car users for clogging up the roads and causing delays, and allowed the cops to issue summons for people not carpooling to work and back.

Uneven Distribution of Wealth
I'm not talking about which kind of individual gets what, I'm referring to issues far bigger here. So far KL has been the only city of attention, from major developments like all the failed Rail Systems, KL Sentral, Mid Valley, KLCC and KLIA. It's nice and all, but then where will fresh graduates from all over the country go looking for jobs? Where would kampung folks head to when looking for opportunities? This refers to hundreds of thousands of people who migrate to the Klang Valley every year. Then has there ever been enough proper housing to cater for this mass? Have houses in the Kland Valley ever been affordable to the average Malaysian who also needs a car because the public transportation systems is hopeless?

The more important question remains Why Can't They Develop Penang or Ipoh or Johor Baru too? Why must KL be the only city worth investing in? What about KK and Kuching and Miri? Proper distribution of the country's wealth will definitely be able to spread the nation's population and expertise more effectively.

Foreign Direct Intervention
Bad enough we Malaysians don't get enough job opportunities, they have to almost make flesh trading among neighboring countries a free-trade. Then in they come from god-knows what war or poverty-torn country, fighting for jobs that were meant for us. Result? Walk into Chinatown at Petaling Street now and see for yourselves. They work for a couple of years, bring home what puny amounts of pay we give, and buy a piece of land and build a bungalow. And we are left with renting a low-cost walk-up.

Seriously we don't need foreign labor to take our jobs. Yes they are cheaper and they are more hardworking and they whine less than we do, but that is only because they are an option. Remove that option and what's left to do is coming to terms with employing whiny, lazy and expensive Malaysians. But at least the money is being circulated within the economy.

Thinner Skin
If the proper authorities used the people's money wisely, the Multiplier Effect will ensure the country is a whole lot more prosperous than it is now. But sadly these selfish individuals chose to fill their own pockets instead. And very stupid at that because they can't do it without letting the whole world know.

Parents, continue to send your kids to those piano and taekwondo classes only you love. They know you work very hard for the money, and that it is difficult to pay for that 5 Series and that million-ringgit Semi-D. Because these are all necessary. One cannot live with crappy local cars and simple 3-room link houses. That would be an insult to your family. Your kids will grow up as a poor family. You can't have that. You absolutely need that Bimmer and that land. And your wife needs that ten thousand Ringgit LV bag too. I'm sure the credit card companies understand, it's the government's fault not yours.

I Am Hip Again

So now I have a QR Code for Rant Sack. This is me trying to be cool and updated with technology and trends. But then I soon found out it was stupid.

Firstly, you'd see this post from Facebook from your computer or phone. Then you'll hit the link and will be taken to my blog posts. You don't need to use this QR Code. Even if you want to use the Code, you wouldn't borrow someone else's phone to scan this Code and then read from his/her phone right. That would be stupid.

Then if you are on your PC/Mac, you won't purposely take out your phone or tablet to read this Code and then read my post from them because it'll be stupid to prefer smaller screens. Then who would point his/her webcam at the monitor and let the Code take them to my site when some simple rantsack.blogspot.com would be easier?

So yes this QR Code is stupid and pointless. But I create one and tell you guys I have one and flaunt it around anyway because it somehow makes me cooler than pre-QR morons. Kind of like what everyone is doing these days. They only send their resumes to Fortune 500 Companies as if they're worth that much. They want fancy titles on their name cards as if it'll earn them more money. They buy expensive cars they honestly don't even like because it'll make them look superior. They swing expensive handbags and timepieces around, hoping that people would get jealous of their success.

Why are you so uncertain of yourselves? Why do you have so little confidence in yourselves? Why do you become bossy only when you're behind the B+R, BMW and LV? Why do you say you'd rather be caught dead than own a Kancil? If anything your flaunting of expensive goods only show how fragile and scared you really are.

Like this QR Code I have above. Sure it looks good, sure it shows I'm up to date in tech trends. But it's utterly pointless. It also shows that I am so uncertain of my writing ability that I need gimmicks like these to attract crowd.

Have you ever wanted something because you truly believe it will set you free? Have you ever bought something you love so much and never showed it to anyone else or bragged about it at all? Have you ever not thought of what people around you will think and say when deciding on a purchase? Who do you live for, yourself or everyone else?

Wake up, stand up, and grow a pair. Confidence is not shown in the brands you carry with you, rather your ability to carry yourself in its absense. The next time you bump into a Myvi driver, don't assume he/she's poor. Their other car could be a 458 Italia which they own because they actually know how to drive a sportscar.

While you're contemplating life and re-evaluating your priorities, I will continue to market my new QR Code. Not because I know of a way to make it useful, but because I am an insecure retard like you. And like you, I harness confidence in stupid pointless things like my new and awesome QR Code.

Talking 'bout My Girl

Source: http://blog.29daysto.com/

Temptation is great. Temptation is like a virus, it cannot be killed because it does not live. Yet it feeds, on misery and despair and weaknesses. After nine months it is still here. The urge the desire the want the need. The desperation. I can still taste it at the back of my throat in my mouth in my lungs. Like fresh air only better. Like a shot of single malt only better. Like downing a glass of Coke only better. Like I'm being wrapped around by an overwhelming stench that is so beautiful, so dramatic, so warm and so complete. It calls for me to answer to respond to give. Hungry so fucking hungry. I need I need I so fucking need. Need to satisfy the urge the need the fucking need.

What is the problem anyway? Not like I'm guaranteed a longer life if I keep at it. Not like I won't die of any other diseases if I keep at it. Everyone's doing it, why must I refrain? Why must I hold back?

So there I was, sitting in my car with the engine off. In silence. It was almost midnight, but the petrol station still sold cigarettes. I was contemplating my next move. It was going to be a decider, of whether or not I should end my 9-month long fast.

Fuck it I'm just gonna go buy it and puff my worthless life away. What's the point in protecting a life when it's got no value? I got out, walked over to the counter and asked for a Dunhill..... Lights. Better not jump straight to Beast Mode. I've been out for over half a year.

As I pulled away from the station I took out a stick and tried lighting it with my car's lighter. Fucking thing wouldn't work! It could be a sign.
Fuck signs, I don't believe in them! After a few tries I finally managed to get half of it lit. That was enough. I dragged deep, like how I would've done it when I was chronic. The fuck?! This thing tasted like shit! It stank like the sewers! And it gave me headache and chest pains. After the stick was done, I vowed never to smoke again for the rest of my short life.

This morning I had to sample another stick. 2 puffs and it went out the window. Now the pack is in my car's glove box, awaiting it's fate: lungs or bin.

Marx Returns

For too long have we lived under the impression that nothing comes close to the effectiveness and fairness of democracy. So all countries jumped on the bandwagon and started applying this market-biased economic model across all industries, and found it rather helpful. Who would've thought there existed an invisible hand that works for them without asking for salary. Post World War 2 saw the success of democracy, an engine that gave everyone what communism couldn't: freedom. Freedom of almost everything. They could choose where to live and what to be. The world was promised prosperity beyond bounds, so long as they work hard. The governments will continue to expand their countries and multiply their wealth, for as long as democracy prevails.

But come late 90s, one series of bad events followed another. First it was just the Far Eastern Economic region, but soon even European and American countries were falling into crises and getting bankrupt. All around the known world the gap between the rich and poor starts to widen, creating a gaping hole where the middle class should've been occupying. But where are they now? It is obvious now that Democracy is flawed and needs a remodel.

Who suggests and defends the Democratic Model? Your politicians. The people you voted. The same ones managing your finances and ultimately deciding your livelihood. The very ones cruising around at the back of Bentleys and G6s and Air Force Ones. Wait! Isn't Democracy about freedom and fairness? Then why is there still this elite group of Masons who only circle wealth among themselves? Do they not agree with the Multiplier Effect they so proudly market?

Who do the politicians invite to brainwash talks of better economy and brighter future? You. Who do they then invite to gala dinners and posh receptions? Other wealthy people they need to be seen around. Who will walk the streets and endure tear gas and chemical water when they want to overthrow each other? You.

I don't see the fairness in this economic model. I don't see the difference between this Democracy and Communism. Well at least Communism don't lie to you and give you the impression that you have a chance at making it big.

When you step back and observe the way Democracy works, you'll find the same method being used by McDonald's, Apple, Nike and Microsoft. Democracy is merely a marketing ideology, nothing more. Democracy can only be real when everyone believes it to be, kinda like the moral in the movie Skeleton Key. This economic model has no practical foundations, no physical appearance, no actual meat. It's theory is not even sound. It's like the iPod: why would anyone buy something from a company with absolutely no experience in sound hardware and software engineering, which resulted in probably the worst music player in the market? The colors are nice. They look awesome. Everyone has one, so it can't be thaaat bad.

Democracy is only a perception. No more. What we need is a sound plan, a solid method, a well-founded and proven model that can actually bring the poor out of that range. A model that can tell us all: Yes, we can ALL be rich without making others worse off! Because humans do not know the meaning of love and equality. We are selfish retards. Why else would Germany want Greece out of the EU?

So what is this new model? Maybe I'll tell you next week, if I got the time to lay them down here. In the mean time go save some money and buy yourself a Mont Blanc pen. You'll need to offer it to me very soon.

The Answer to Earth's Troubles



Source: http://www.gogreenman.com/news1/korean_oil_spill.htm

The world is dying. She is suffocating and she is bleeding. She is crying.

The balance that this world thrives on is gone, destroyed by the one race that doesn't believe in it. This race talks of divine creation and ultimate ascension and purity and ownership. They should've broken the mold after the two came into this world.

Let's face it, humanity is the weakest link in the chain of life. We are arrogant, spiteful, selfish and irresponsible. We think we are the most superior race in the world because we were made in God's image. And that God has to look like humans, not a cow or an elephant or a monkey because that would be stupid. Why would God want to look like lesser beings right? But I will not talk about God and his master plan. I will talk about his most flawed creation; that furless big-headed biped race with opposing thumbs.

Everything we do destroys the world. The house we live in, the food we eat, the car we drive, the bus we take, the office we work in, the boat we have, everything. Yet with all the given intelligence, the best we could come up with are Carbon Ratings, Recycle, Green, Hybrid, Vegetarian and Paper-less. How genius, I bet the apes can do better. So I will pick a few great ideas out of the hat and evaluate it's credit.
Vegetarianism

Eat meat and you allow animals to suffer and die to fill your stomachs. We have an alternative: veges. Do we now? Vegetarians are not really against animal cruelty in slaughterhouses and coops, they just don't want to be apart of this madness. They fold their hands and look away. Responsible vegetarians would start a movement to ultimately ban the consumption of meat all around the world ( I suspect that was Hitler's plan all along). Impossible? Shark Fin activists seem to be doing a beautiful job.

So imagine this: now we have more meat eaters than vegans. I stress vegans because I think these are the only true vegetarians. Those Octo-Lacto-Pollo Vegetarians are all idiots. We have animal farms and vegetable fields. Farms are filled with-say-30 cows. Each cow feeds an average of 300 humans ( say each person eats 8oz of meat and the cow weighs 600kgs). 30 cows will set 9000 people happy and content. Say the same plot of land is flattened for wheat plantation. How many grains of wheat will be harvested at the end of the cycle? How many people would that be able to feed? Remember that we will eat more plants than animals to satiate the same hunger because plants generate less energy.  Imagine now that the entire population are vegetarians. Will there be enough land for all our plantations? Where would the forests go? And we'd be cruel to gophers too.

If you think being vegetarian would stop us from causing violence to animals, you are probably a normal human being with average thinking capacity. Sadly. The amount of jungles that needs to be flattened and cleared would completely destroy the entire ecosystem, all to feed the most superior race in the world. Genius. Then animals and insects and plants would go extinct, and all we'll have are wheat and rice and cabbages and corn. And we will have no more animals to do violence against.

What's a smarter move? I hear the Halal Slaughter method is both the most efficient and pain-free to animals. Or are we too arrogant to heed another fellow humans' ancient skill? It doesn't require laser-precision cutting tools or giant hooks and small coops. We need to eat. The least we could do as the most superior race in the world is allow the animals we eat to die the most painless way.

Animal Testing
Do you know when labs to animal testing? When these tests are too dangerous to be done on humans. Do you know what is it they test which are so dangerous to humans? Sometimes just some stupid face moisturizer. But other times possible cure for cancer. For all those people who are against animal testing, I urge you to hold yourself accountable to your own words. Do not find yourselves patron to these drugs when you're dying of cancer, they were developed using animals as tests.
I am not saying I love and encourage animal testing. But humanity's greed cannot survive unfed. And the losing end will always be the helpless races: animals. In our unyielding fight to achieve immortality, we must sacrifice the lesser beings. That is ultimately the most incompetent statement ever.
Do animal testing, but only on areas that require them the most. Ban them on all of those beautifying rubbish that won't save anyone's life even if it could float. Allow only in the most critical researches.

Environmental

How many of us actually care where our trash end up? How many of us have seperate bins for seperate trash? How many of us actually care if those rubbish actually end up in recycling centers? We care, but only at our conveniences. We talk so much of paperless everything, and yet we keep Googling every single stupid word up instead of using a distionary because it is easier. Well using the search engine also generates Carbon Dioxide.

We tear down trees for toilet rolls and make ourselves happy by replanting them, saying technically it's the same. Have you seen a tree plantation as opposed to an actual jungle? Do you know that tree plantations are almost completely free of fauna?



The list goes on. Ultimately I am suggesting that if we truly and selflessly want the world to become better, humanity has to completely die off. There cannot be a single human soul left on Earth. Now that changes everything right? All of a sudden we're not too ready to save the world anymore. But hink about it, everything we do is detrimental to the Earth. If it was any other animal, we'd approve total anihilation without thinking twice.

If you are out there doing that little good to the environment and thinking you're above the rest because you're somehow saving everyone's lives like a superhero, I'm sorry but the only way you can save the world is by killing yourselves. Better yet, create a zombie virus that will disable the intelligence of all humanity in 28 days or less.

Just a baseless thought.

Cross Out the Cuckoos

I sat down one day with some friends planning their wedding dinner, and we were talking about invites. There was a constant dilemma on this topic. On one hand there are not enough tables, because they have to allocate tables for relatives and close families. Then there's the problem of inviting one person, and not not inviting the others in his/her group who you're actually not too close with, but may end up inviting to prevent that one friend from feeling bored and the rest feeling left out. I don't know if it will help much, but I have prepared a checklist of people you wouldn't want to invite, and why.

People Who Don't Remember You
In life we constantly come across people who are nice to talk to and maybe even hang out with, but could never progress to deeper levels of friendship. Don't waste your time on them, because they wouldn't be bothered even if you died. Worst off, you have to invite their partners so he/she won't feel so bored, which is a complete waste of seats.

College Friends 
Although epic times, most college friendships don't last long. And by the time college/university is over everybody will go their own separate ways, never to contact each other again. You spend at most 3 years with them, and that was some 10 years ago. Save your seats for people who matter more.

Your Exes
Unless you have both managed to become bffs after, especially, bad break ups, please do not make it hard for your exes. You may not think it, but inviting your ex to your wedding is the single most evil thing one can ever do to their past loves.

Just Ones
Sometimes you meet one person whom you can get along with very well, but find that you can't get along with his/her friends and neither can he/she with yours. Inviting one person would cause extreme boredom and ultimately a bad experience at your wedding. But how many of his/her friends would you invite then? My advise, cross his/her name from your list. When asked, just say you have too many relatives to invite and not enough seats for friends.

Contractors and Suppliers
Seriously, you have a wedding dinner to celebrate your union with friends and family. And contractors and suppliers are neither friend nor family. Don't use your wedding dinner to lick their boots. Your wives will appreciate your ability to detach from work at least that once.

Not-Really Friends
There will be people who envy and hate you for whatever reason. Don't ever think " it's the right thing to do" and invite them anyway. Don't waste your resources on these filthy mongrels. You should be happy and completely disconnected from hate and vengeance.

Children
Kids laugh, cry, whine, run around, throw things, vomit and poop everywhere. Plus chances are they won't remember who's wedding they attended, and who you are even. Ask their parents to keep them at home with a sitter.

Great Grand Relatives
With super old people you have a new set of problems: food, air-conditioning, duration of the dinner, Sharks Fin Soup. Old people cannot eat solid food so you'll have to get them meshed up shit. They hate the cold and warm so your air-conditioner temperature must be optimal. They cannot sit too long so you'll need to rush out the dishes before they pester their kids to leave. They think it's blasphemous not to have shark's fin as it will tell relatives that they're too poor to afford. Keep these old farts at home, and have your wedding the way you want it.

Friends' girl/boyfriends
Chances are you'll be wasting precious seats to people whom you'll probably never see again. Boy/girlfriends come and go, and they will never know the value of attending your wedding dinner.

Karaoke Junkie Relatives
Avoid at all costs. If you can't, then make sure there's nothing close enough to a karaoke machine in the hall. Some may even ask that you just play the song and they sing along on stage with the microphone. Get a jazz band to occupy the space. Anything to keep these junkies off the mic.

There you go, 10 types of people you should avoid inviting should you need to filter. Because frankly you don't need a dinner with 60 tables if half of them are not real friends and family. Wife would agree to divert those expenses to your honeymoon.

Greed: Humanity's Driving Force

Whoa it's been a while since my last post. To the few who have been following my posts, my sincerest apologies. The past 7 months have been most unusual. So here I am trying to set things back on track, and what better way than to post up a rant.

I have been asked this question before quite a number fo times.
 " Bang Qin, why are you so greedy? You should learn to be complacent. You've got a lot of things other people can't even dream of possessing."

Gratitude is Complacency with Greed. Greed is a tool, not having the ability to inflict damage to anyone or anything without a user. Complacency is another word for Sloth or Laziness. If you disagree with my definition of Complacency, then you may say Complacency is us being happy and grateful and content with everything given to us; a family, health and a job opportunity, a safe country, a secure future. What you're trying very hard to bury is the realistic facts. The fact that you're settling for mediocre health, mediocre job, mediocre country and a mediocre future.

It's okay for simpletons to just settle, being content with all that is given to you and make the best of what you have. But understand also that by settling in mediocraty, you have automatically revoked your rights to advancement. Because advancement requires greed. Because advancement is against all of your principles of complacency.

Complacency is being happy with what is and not asking for more because that would require a certain amount of greed. Complacency is also the inability to demand because that too would require a certain amount of greed.

So in practical terms, a complacent person should not expect the Economy to improve. They should not expect the Education System in the country to improve. They should not hope for a cure for Cancer, even if they are stricken by it.

So Complacency is, simply put, just being there. And then it's gone. Nobody notices, nobody cares. The Complacent can never impact the world, they can never move society, they can never change minds. They just appear when they are allowed to, and when the time is gone, disappears.

Do you think the complacent discovered the Penicillin? Do you think the complacent landed on the Moon? Do you think the complacent built the Aventador ( yes, at this point Top Gear just aired that episode)? News flash, they were built by the Greedy. It is the gratification they're chasing after that gave us all the above. Greed is the key to humanity's advancement. If you thought scientists lock themselves in labs for so many years researching the cure to Cancer and AIDS because they were emotionally fueled by passion.

Very often people justify what they do to make themselves feel good about themselves, but ultimately they're all the same: success of driven by greed. Doctors and Insurance Agents tell themselves their jobs allow them to save lives and help people, but honestly they're just there for the money and status. No free ticket to heaven there.

I'm not saying we should not be happy with what we have. Feel gratitude. Feel Gratified. Thank God for all that is given. But never sit on it and be complacent. Never compare yourselves with people worst off just so you can relax. The world's advancement require responsible amounts of Greed. It also require Gratitude. It can never move forward with Complacency.

Don't take my word for it. Go out and see for yourselves. Make your own deductions. 

Babies for Bozos

It's that part of my life, yet I feel I am not quite there. Everyone I've known for at least 10 years are making plans for the future. They are starting a new family. I remember each and everyone, some all the way back to Standard 1 and some hanging by the corner near FAC. Family planning with kids involves a Theory, an Execution and a Contingency.

The Theory is what you would want or hope for your family to turn out in the end, 20 years from the beginning. What kind of schools you'd want to get your kids into, what will they become, where will they be staying and working, what kind of educations they will have, what kind of friends they will be hanging with. You will sometimes dream on to their kids what their kids will be like.

The Execution is what you need to do to ensure every Theory works out according to plan. The income you will need to be making to sustain the lifestyle you want for them, the people you need to hang out with to ensure a safe spot in the school you want them studying in, the society you need to get into so your kids will have their children as friends.

The equation is simple: The smaller the gap between Theory and Execution, the closer the Result is to Perfection. So long as everything remains on the rail, you will be giving your kids the best life any parent can provide, and they will be properly nourished to tackle their future. And you will be a proud and successful parent. If only it was that simple.

Today we talk about the Contingency: what happens when Shit hits the Fan. We are not talking about having a Tamagochi dinosaur or a pet dog. Kids are people and people are the hardest to compute, sum up and categorize. Believe me, shit will always hit the fan.

1. Not Your Photocopy
Your children, each and every one of them, are individuals by themselves. Make sure you get that into your heads. They have their own rights, they make their own choices (well eventually). Most common error with parents is that they try to turn their kids into them. Parents would make their kids like their food,hobbies and brands. They would also make their kids become what they couldn't when they were younger for whatever reasons. Hold on there, smarty-pants. Your kids are not created by you so you can mold however you please!

2. Not With Cages and Chains
There is a difference between children and animals, by law at least, and that is you do not chain and cage your children. Obedience is never taught to human beings by fear and power. Do that and you'll most certainly get rebellion. If it is difficult for you to comprehend this new and actual effective method, learn it. If, after learning, you still don't believe in it, get a dog instead. If you still insist on having children then god bless you because you'll be facing some really nasty 3-week constipation on fan.

3. Lead by Action
Why is it that so many times we see leaders and preachers finding it hard to influence and change their followers? Because they do it by speech while their followers learn from their actions. Tell your kids to buckle up in the back seat when you don't, tell your kids not to drive like an ass while doing 160 and weaving through traffic, tell your kids to be polite when you curse at everyone who gets in your way. Stupid people will know your kids will be more of what you are than what you say you are.

4. Filter your own Shit
There may come a time when you realize you have married the wrong person. You want a divorce and you want custody. Fight, by all means, but NEVER involve your kids. Seriously, your kids didn't marry that person, you did. Your kids don't hate your spouse, you do. So don't let your kids carry the burden of your mistakes. Your kids see the both of you as their parents; role models and their protectors and guides into the world. Don't bitch about your spouse to your kids just so they will hate him/her they way you do! Filter your problems. If possible don't let your kids know a single thing.

5. Know Your Side
Your son will call you one day, having snuck out your car, that he crashed it. You will be pissed mad and emotional and wanting to kill him so bad. When you arrive at the scene, the other driver, an older man, comes up to you and says it's all your son's fault. You know your son is capable of causing this mess. Will you take the older man's word and scream at your son, or will you first ask your son what happened? Parents need to know when to punish their children, and when to protect them.

6. Compare to Nothing
Don't you hate it when your parents and their siblings always compare you and your cousins? And their friends' kids too? Remember what it felt like being compared to when you were young, and make sure you don't do the same. Everyone is individually different. Being good in math doesn't make you any better than a person who prefers literature or hair styling. The world is big, and it requires people of different interests and passions to keep it turning.

7. Queer Ready
Get yourself educated in homosexuality, in case you will have to face this with your kids. Gays do not choose to be so. They are born that way, like Down Syndrome and Lactose-intolerant. It is, if you'd like, a birth defect. Where on Earth would you find people who would prefer to be stigmatized and in some countries jailed and hung, instead of being 'normal'? If you're the kind of parent who desperately needs grand children, increase your odds by having more kids. If you're a parent who thinks being gay is disgusting and completely intolerable, then maybe we can find you a time machine so you can be taken back to the 1600s, where you belong.


If you think being a parent is in-born because we're all meant to have babies and they're been doing it fine for the past one thousand years and it's not quantum mechanics, consider again stupid. There is no Ctrl-Z here. Don't have babies just because everyone's doing it and sex is fun, or that you suddenly feel it would be nice to have more people running around at home.

Well but then again everyone's entitled to their own methods. Knock yourselves out, people. And if they don't turn out the way you'd hope, you can always leave them locked in the car under hot sun so they'd die of heatstroke and you can get away with some insurance money, and try for a new one that night.

Save My Curry Laksa

Fellow KLites, we are facing a dire situation: our restaurant food quality is dipping at a record rate! Some 15 years ago, stall food were cheap and uber awesome. Not anymore. If nothing is being done to curb this calamity, we will soon see ourselves becoming Singapore ( sorry neighbors, but I have to honestly say food over at your place are anything but nice. Too healthy maybe).

My under-educated reasoning tells me these are the causes:

1. Perception of Standards
When in school students were asked what their ambitions were. Because the students were fairly young, their teachers would often give them suggestions. Doctor, lawyer, scientist, engineer, accountant, pilot. From there perceptions were sown into their young minds that these are the only respectable people to be. Parents who labor in foodstalls would also tell their kids to study hard for an office job that pays well and lets you sit in air-conditioned rooms all day long. Who can tell me that office jobs are easy? Do they also come with Dreams?

For people with parents still running a foodstall, consider the following:

Our parents were mostly minimally educated, and don't really know how to make money work for them. They know that you exchange sweat for honest amounts of money. Their calculations are very linear, how many hours of work equals how much income. You on the other hand are educated. What your parents have is more valuable than any salary-paying job out there. Oldtown White Coffee is a classic example.

In an employment you will never be able to reach the top of the ladder, because you will never own it. Don't be mistaken though, company share ownership only gives you the perception you own part of the company so you can work harder.

2. Taking It Easy
Look at all the foodstalls out there today. If they are bad, most probably they're manned by foreign workers. Honestly, I don't trust my Char Siew rice to a Vietnamese, no matter how good they are at Cantonese. Stall owners opt for foreign workers, mainly because of 2 reasons: they are cheap, and their own kids find it embarrasing to operate their stalls because it's got no class.

Its probably not lucrative if you only operate one stall, but what if you have a chain? Come on, if Ramlee can train business owners to make burgers consistent throughout the country, why can't chicken rice be consistent?

Matter of Protection
Foodstalls, in a way, represent a culture in Malaysia. A culture quickly losing its place, replaced by restaurants our parents say ' Con Ang Mos'. Now we are being conned into air-conditioned restaurants with comfy seats and cleaner appearance, and steeper prices and worse food.

Setup a strong union or organization. Provide proper trainings on clean food preperation, move them to better hawkers centers, allow them to plan for chains and franchises. Most importantly keep the secret recipes passing down generations and you will maintain the food quality. Setup a social networking site that will promote hawker food, allow the public to rate and comment so others can see and try.

I don't need to teach anyone how they can spend their RM50 million wisely. I only wish that i can still bring my kids Curry Laksa hunting like I did when I was younger. No not like Paparich or Madam Kwan kinda Con Ang Mo Curry Laksa.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Parliament of Crooks

Firstly I would like to apologise for not attaching an enticing photo with today's post. My computer crashed on me last week, and this stupid iPad does not allow me to upload anything online. Well then on to more pressing matters now, shall we.

Who are the ones actually making these margins all these while? Your bosses. Why was it that you have never felt the need to constantly ask for a raise? Because they give you a 10% raise once every 3 years and marginally increase your benefits once every 3 years to make you happy. 
Say for example you have superb insurance coverage provided by your employers, which they pay every month, and which you will add to your value because they are benefits. But have you asked yourself the important question When Will I Need It? The answer is after your retirement. The answer is after you leave the company. The answer is You Cannot Use It When You Actually Need It. 
Your bosses are actually only giving you the impression that your value is higher than your actual pay, but it is not. When it comes down to actual dollars and cents, your bosses are the only ones getting richer. 

Inflation is not an excuse for your bosses to not increase your pay. Inflation does not make money disappear into thin air. Inflation actually means your pay going up, but you also find that cost of living is also doing the same.

What do you do? If you plan to stay where you are and hope a strong union will bail you out of the situation, keep dreaming. The banking industry already have strong unions, and look at how silly the bankers have to suck up to their leaders just to move up in ranks. 

We need to change. We need to understand that we are worth more than what these fat bastards are paying us now. The government needs to protect us from foreign competition. When companies don't get to employ at the rate they're paying, and can't look into foreigners, they will eventually increase the pay. And when a new balance is reached, people will actually start to enjoy their work. 

But you will "Cheh" me and say "If Only It Was That Easy". I can tell you that as long as you don't believe, it will never happen. Who says life was easy? But it is worth being passionate about. 

The Cost of Benefits

Prices go up, all around us. 15 years ago we can afford a bowl of curry noodles for RM 2.50. Now it's easily RM 4.00. Everyone says its inflation, inflation and inflation. But do they know what inflation really is? To explain inflation, we will first forget about it, because inflation is only good when people are actually rich enough to inflate the prices of commodity around us.

So without inflation, where did the margin between RM 2.50 and RM 4.00 go? Some would go to the uncle/aunty making the noodles in the stalls. Some would also go to the people who made the noodles and curry powder. And also the people who rared the chicken and caught the prawns. Between year 1996 and 2011, cost of every bowl of noodles went up by an average of RM 1.50. By right everyone involved in producing the bowl of noodles and renting the stalls would have made more. But they are not. Shocking? This gets even worse in the corporate industries, where educated professionals enter the workforce getting paid peanuts. 15 years ago fresh graduates looking for marketing jobs get paid RM 1200 a month. Today they get, at most RM 1400.

Now lets factor in inflation. In the simplest terms, inflation actually equals the people's spending power. Given that goods and services are always scarce and limited, people's ever growing demands will drive prices up. When the people make more money, they will naturally be able to better afford goods that they demand. They will then pay a price higher than market rate in order to attain what they want, simply because they can now afford it. This is inflation.

But given that, for example, the price of a bowl of curry noodles is now almost 100% more expensive than it was 15 years ago, and that the monthly pay for an average Marketeer has gone up by a mere 20%, where did all the inflation come from?


I don't compare apples to oranges because on a greater scale, everything is inter-related. A market supplies goods and services as just that, and how much they are worth depends on how rich the people demanding them are.


Who makes all the money? Why is it that you couldn't see what was in front of your face all these while? Maybe there will be an answer to this next week.