Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Tough Decision Making

Life sucks. It gives you the perception that you have the power to make a choice and decide for yourself, then gives you hell for making the wrong ones.

Sometimes the math is easy. Go to a 7-Eleven, ask for a Marlboro Menthol, get one, you're happy. Then there are times you don't get what you want. Go to a 7-Eleven, ask for a Marlboro Menthol, get lung cancer, you die.

Here are some of the things you may want to consider on your day-to-day decision making process.

1. Car Turn Signals
You're a good person, and you think your extra amounts of education sets you apart from those who throw rubbish and spit out of their cars. The Law and the radio tells you to use the car turn signal before changing lanes, coming out of and going into junctions. Good job.
You keep using your car turn signals when driving, and can't help but realize that whenever you do that, cars always quickly close up the gaps to not allow you a chance to change lanes. It's like there's a sticker stuck on the back of your car saying: I've got Rabies, don't let me pass.

In Malaysia this is what you do. You spot that space between some cars through your rear-view, wait for it to arrive. And once you're about to make the jump, turn your steering wheel while sticking your little finger out so that it conveniently flicks the turn signal lever too. That way you make the lane change while being able to sleep at night.

2. Traffic Light Lambada
You're stuck in everyday traffic congestion created by 5 traffic light intersections on a 1 km road. This happens a lot in Malaysia because it's the laziest way the Traffic Ministry 'solve' congestion problems. The light is red. It has been red for ages. You're the first in line, and cars from the other roads are zooming pass frantically.
Then the light on your road turns green. But there's a problem. The previous lanes' cars are not stopping for their red light. It went on for a couple of seconds before you finally decided to try to scare them by braving across the intersection. Then you see a car swerve pass yours, almost colliding, and you could've sworn you lip read him screaming at you " Cannot wait ah?!!!"

Really? Apparently he's the impatient one stealing your turn to use the intersection, and all he could say was "Cannot wait ah??"???

Here's what you should do. Buy a 15-year old Land Rover Discovery or Grand Cherokee and drive it to work everyday. When faced with these situations, brave it and see if anyone is stupid enough to challenge you. In case of an accident, tell the cops the light was green on your side, and remember never NEVER to quote Rant Sack on your decision to ram onto those cars. Oh! Walk up to those fellas you hit and ask them why they could not wait their turn.

3. Greener Us
I'll tell you why public transportation can never improve here in KL. It's not rocket science. All you have to do is take a trip to some other country with properly functioning public transport system, and try to adapt it into KL streets. They know how it should be done. But then nobody will buy those crappy little locally assembled and re badged Japanese cars and the companies will close down.

It's actually better to take public transportation, because it takes many cars out of the streets and reduce petrol usage and emissions. Provided of course you can accept the following:

a) Ghetto on Wheels. That's what some foreigners call our taxi service. The cabbies don't wash their hair, don't wash their shirts, and look like they haven't slept for days. What's worse, the cabs smell like the sewers. We haven't even began with the fact that majority of them don't use meters and charge a bomb for short trips. And that ladies would constantly have to have one of their hands in the hand bags, gripping that pen knife or pepper spray for the entire journey, praying for safe arrival half a kilometer away from home just so the cabbies don't know where they stay. And what if they start taking you into weird little roads and alleyways?

b) Factories on Wheels. More like 3rd-World Factories on Wheels. One wonders how they could ever pass the Puspakom tests. Maybe the good government gave the blind, deaf, dumb and smell-ability-less' opportunity to work in the department. Buses spew immense amounts of black smoke every time the driver floors the accelerators. Shanghai already have buses running on electricity. Very DIY, but effective nonetheless.

After weighing the pros and cons, the best choice is to buy that little crappy excuse for a car and park it in the middle of LDP every morning and evening, 5 days a week. Because you'll most probably not get raped, because it won't smell of the sewers, because you won't hear your cabbie telling you how they're being underpaid and have no money for their medical bills, and because one bus emits the same amount of carbon dioxide as 132 cars.

4. Plastic Supermarkets
Penang has officially turned No Plastic Bag Everyday. KL has just started No Plastic Bag Saturdays. Here's the thing. Do you not have rubbish bins at home? Do you not fill those bins with plastic bags? Do you not then throw them into bigger bins and wait for rubbish trucks to collect them once a week?
Previously households would use the plastic bags they get from supermarkets as rubbish bags. That was a very effective way of Reusing something. Now nobody accept plastic bags from supermarkets, and they buy rubbish bags from those supermarkets, which essentially ARE plastic bags! I don't know about you, but this is making me feel very stupid.

Alam Flora is going to implement a trashing system of only using black plastic bags. This doesn't mean we stop taking multicolored plastic bags from supermarkets because we can't use them for trash. It means supermarkets will have to start giving out black-colored plastic bags instead, to allow us Re-usage. But they won't. Because the smartest thing to do is to convince the public that taking plastic bags for free from supermarkets is wrong! That way they can cut some serious costs. On top of that, the public will have to buy those black bags from the supermarkets, which equals profit! Call it smart supermarkets of stupid consumers.

Remember: Rant Sack is written by a dumbass with no education qualifications whatsoever. Don't listen to what he says. He's just stupid and bored and have no friends to hang out with.