Gathering of the Tribes

To gather with friends, 

In special events,

I feel completely blessed.

But invites I give,

Yet none I receive,

Perhaps I’m just disliked. 

The 8 Times I Fell in Love With You

You were a special person. One who, at first glance, anyone normal would regard as hardly useful aside from being a companion with a short lifespan. But throughout the 14 years being in the family, you were so much more. 

The first time I fell in love with you was the first time I met you. You were so no bigger than my palm, barely able to stand and walk a straight line. You thought my hand and my face were two separate entities, and interacted with them differently. 

Because you were taken from your mother at such a young age, eating solid food was a struggle. We had to mash the food into paste. Both your front legs had to be in your bowl in order for you to reach your food. In the mouth... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. And out the back. Such an efficient pooping machine, I thought. 

The second time I fell in love with you was how you would greet me every day after work with such enthusiasm. Work was tough for me, having just started working and not having direction in life. I hated many parts of my life because that was when I realised I was good at nothing. A mediocre destined to live an average life. 

All the pain and struggle will disappear as soon as I reach home, giving you the signature whistle. You would run to the front door and greet me with such excitement, as if we haven't met for days. I could feel my pain and burden melt away, replaced with your endless slobbering licks.

Speaking of struggling at work, I spent almost 6 - 7 years searching for my place in the world. Like any young and ambitious person, I wanted to be among the stars. As years go by, I was humbled by my inability to achieve those dreams. 

It was tough on me in the beginning, and I hated everything and everyone around me. Most of all, I hated myself. You were always there to accompany me, unfazed by my tantrums and anger. Just by being around me, you kept reminding me of the most important things in life. 

That was when I fell in love with you the third time. Because of you, I stopped chasing money and things, and started chasing experiences. I started loving myself again. I start appreciating family more. And I am forever in your debt for that. 

The fourth time I fell in love with you was when you would always take the time to check up on all of us while we are at home. When mom and I were working in separate rooms, you would occasionally walk into our rooms and see what we're doing. I am glad I always took the time to stop working and spend the little moments with you. 

You would also choose strategic spots to sleep at home, so you can keep an eye on every family member at all times. We thought we were your guardian, turned out you were the one guarding us all these while.   

The fifth time I fell in love was with your attitude and intelligence. Well that's a love/hate thing, but leaning more towards love. Your ability to communicate your feelings and thoughts is amazing. You would position your body accordingly depending on whether or not you want me to carry you. You have a wide array of tricks you would automatically dispense for treats. 

When you want to display your anger, you would jump onto our beds and drop a pool of pee. That usually sends us off the roof, but we could never stay mad at you for long. Whenever you give me that look, I'd ask 'What do you want?' and you would lead me to whatever it is you want my help with. 

The sixth time I fell in love with you was when you would always hop onto my bed in the morning to sleep with me before I wake up. I know you were just there for the air conditioning, but it did feel very nice to have had your company. 

The seventh time I fell in love with you was your smell. The smell of your paws and your fur. They are distinct, and no other doggie smelled like you. Your blanket and your clothes would smell like you. I will miss that the most. 

The eighth time I fell in love with you was the patience and conviction you had even down to the last days of your life. Upon returning home from your 10-day vet treatment, I think you already knew you couldn't last much longer. But you persevered, eating as much as we could feed you, because you knew that would make us happy. 

You mustered all the strength you could for the final days, giving us a glimpse of your younger years. When I left for work one day, you wanted to follow me out. I didn't understand why until a few days later when you could barely able to stand up and walk a straight line. 

The doctor later said you would only have a couple of days left, and we should stay with you. It all happened too quickly. In the few hours left on your death bed, I could see that you held on for as long as you could. But it wasn't because you weren't ready to leave us, instead you knew we weren't ready to let you go. 

Thank you for giving us as much time as you could even though it hurt so much.

Dear Paris, of all the times I fell in love with you, none is more important or significant than the other. All of them together and by themselves make up the immense love I have for you, and it is what makes you my forever love. 

You may think your existence in our family is of little significance, but in fact you were the anchor that held us together. Even in death, you brought all of us closer than ever before. 

Thank you, my baby girl. Thank you for your life, your smiles, your annoying high pitch barks, your ecstatic greets, and your bossy temper. May you find peace, happiness and endless supplies of blueberries where you are now. We are eternally grateful for you. 

Love, your family.