The Revelation

Death and killings, gore and blood spill. The representation of humanity nobody can accept. Humanity is brought into the world as a white sheet of paper, innocent and naive. As years go by, this not-so Conquering paper gets itself stained by temptations. Temptations that will lead to greed, jealousy, and so on. Parents hope that all their children turn out no worse-off than themselves, if not better. Education is the way to keep children railed in the right direction. Or is it?

Do you have children now studying in kindergartens? If you do, listen carefully. If you don't, listen carefully as well, because you might have children in the future and you'd need to know this.

You took the day off, and spent the morning cleaning the house. You got everything done, and still have time to take a nice shower before your children come home. You decided that you'd want to go get them from school instead, and take them out for ice-cream on the way home. You head out to the kindergarten. Thought of them screaming at the sight of their mother excites you. You could her their voices echo in your head now. You've reached. You parked that silver A4 Station Wagon outside and walked into the school. Teachers all around recognized you instantly. They invited you in, and told you that your kids are very good at singing songs now. They also told you that you were lucky to have come in time to see your kids sing. You happily clamber up the little stairs to the top floor. You could already hear the kids singing, as if shouting at the top of their lungs. Keys were off, tunes were sung wrong in so many parts of the songs. They were kids, so its okay.

You could see at least 20 kids filling one half of the classroom, while the teacher standing in front of a white board in the other end. They were happy, the kids. Working so hard to memorize the lines to that few songs, and finally being able to sing the whole thing out. You smiled. But your smile quickly faded. On the whiteboard were words to the songs they were singing to. You caught a few lines.

" All the King's Horses, and all the king's men.

Couldn't put Humpty back together again."

"Along came a blackbird and peck off her nose"...?

"London Bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down"

"When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall.

And down will come baby, cradle and all."

"There was an old lady who swallowed a fly...... Perhaps she'll die."

You were dumbfounded by this discovery. You turned to look at your kids, now calling you. They were happy, smiling from cheek to cheek.

Nursery rhymes that you were taught as kids are sick renditions of the world's horrors, put together in the form of sad over-sized eggs and a poor baby from the tree top. All these while you thought Hollywood made you a bad person? No, they didn't. They merely awaken the demon slumbering deep inside you, long ago instilled by your lovely neighborhood kindergarten your parents paid to have you go.

Driven

Driving is like walking. It's like drinking coffee and watching a movie. It's like picking your nose while staring out into the endless rain crashing down your roof one evening. It's your life. Day in, day out. You drive to work, for food, even to your grand ma's two blocks down from your home. You sit in your car more than on any dining table, definitely more than on your electrically-heated, pink-fluffed thrones.

Despite having to drive an average of almost 3 hours a day for a gazillion years, many still despise driving. It's like learning the ABCs from Count Dracula, and hating him in the end. Driving is the epitome of self-awareness. It sets you free from Sardine cans lined in red and blue, fume facial while waiting for your bus, and 10 effing bucks for trip around KLCC in the cab. And you still dread at taking control of that wonderful contraption, hate having to send it for service and when you start its engine you can't wait to turn it off immediately.

Sure it emits dangerous amounts of CO2 which would inevitably kill the entire world and everything in it, but it's also the modern version of what fairy tales call 'The Angel's Wing'. Okay, that would be the plane. But not everyone can fly around to work and back everyday, and have it parked in your garage now can they. Look at your face in the rear-view mirror one day when you're stuck in the traffic jam, and see how much you frown when you get on the driver's side of your car. Seriously, why do you hate it so much? You've got a radio, which now plays MP3 in thumb drives ( Too bad for those who don't), air-conditioning to ward off evil heat wave, and comfy generic car seats with cheap upholstery. It's not that bad! Automatic trannies mean you only need to work, of 3598 parts of your body, only your right leg, two hands, two eyes and some of your brains. That's easier than photostating your daily minutes!

On your way home from work, do you find it hard to come out of junctions into big roads? Wanna know why? Cos like you, everyone tends to stick their car noses so near up the backsides of the cars in front, so damn afraid of letting anyone in between. It's like each car they give way to will make them miss an entire episode of ASTRO On demand. Firstly, you've barely lost 1 second of your lifetime. Secondly, its ASTRO On Demand. It means you can watch it again, and again, and again.

However there are of course some lesser being who thinks not giving way is a sign of control and a habit to gain supremacy over everyone. I think its downright stupid. Even if you're uneducated, you could at least act like one, so people won't talk crap about you. Seriously, what do you have to lose? Save your ego for something worth fighting for.

So get a good night sleep tonight, with a smile on your face. Wake up tomorrow, step into your car, and try to enjoy the trip to work. You'll learn to notice beautiful things about your car, like the lever to trigger Turn Signals which you never knew existed. Chill out in your car, and start absorbing everything in. You're gonna be driving till you're at least 50, so why not learn how to like it.

Profile Setup

The year is 2009. I remember 13 years ago when cyber cafes would charge 13 bucks for an hour's usage. These days nobody would pay 3 bucks for a cafe without 22" LCDs, super comfy seats, awesome Altec woofed-up sounds and Black Adder guns and swords. Heck, they won't even pay 3 bucks it it'd come with those!
Anyway, back to the point of this post. Every other year some awesome mind blowing community site will reveal itself, driving the world foaming to be the first to enlist. You're not one of them? Impossible. You got a Friendster account? Facebook? Twitter? MySpace? No?

We've all got at least 2 of the abovementioned accounts, I guarantee that. Remember creating an account and filling those endless forms? Remember having to crack your head trying to figure out what to write in the 'Favourite Whatever' section? Okay, this post does not apply to people who can't be bothered to fill in those sections. Frankly, it takes a lot of self discovery for a person to be able to fill them in. And I can safely say I don't have much of it. Read my profile and you'll know.
Anyway my point is, try to dig up old accounts from which ever sites you've lost interest in (still possible, 'cos they don't usually delete them even if you haven't logged in for 100 years) and start reading your profiles. I'll assume that we've been actively searching for trendy community sites to be a part of since before we left school and started working, because that's me.

Firstly, you'd realize that your favorite movies are no longer our favorites, most probably because you've destroyed countless pirated DVDs watching them again and again. Then you'd find your favorite songs are now old and disgusting. Feeling embarrassed, you'd delete them even though you know nobody's gonna see them. Then comes the column where you're supposed to tell the world what your favorite books are. You prolly filled one or more of the following: How to Kill a Mocking Bird, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Da Vinci Code, Twilight, and Angels and Demons. The first mostly because you know many people have 'read' them, and the latter ones because you've watched the movies and they're trendy reads, so you'd look trendy having read them and you'd know the story because you watched the movie. Lets face it. We are Malaysians. Our reading stops after we leave school. No, it stops even before we leave school!The only thing we'd read are newspapers, and even so, only those with tacky headlines like PAS This, or BN That, or 100 Dead, Bus In Flames.

"Let's not stray from the topic," the writer reminds himself aloud.

Then we come to the Favourite Hobby/Pastimes column. You will find a certain pattern to what you filled there, based on when you did it. Your first may have countless hobbies, like Rock Climbing, Surfing, Skiing, Shopping, Clubbing.... and so on. You'll fill in whatever you did in your entire miserable lives, even if it was only once, and you were too petrified to try again. Notice that as you got older, the number of hobbies you have get shorter? I take it your latest account is Facebook (disregard Twitter). Open your profile up and read it. It may now only contain a few of the following: Yum Char/Tani (Non-alcoholic please)/Lim Teh, badminton, futsal, football, cyber cafe. Most of the above you only do once a week, forgoing other hobbies for it. Please don't put in hobbies you do once a year, because the lack of frequency makes it less of a hobby. For those still young at heart, well this don't actually apply to you.

People, pleeaasseee... Don't lie to yourself when you're filling in forms for that account. Imagine if someone read it, and asked you, and you said "Huh?" Plus, it does make you all fluffy inside when you're honest to yourself. Try it..