Eskimos Need Ice

Source: http://www.hoax-slayer.com/north-pole-moon.html

For the longest time I have been living by the motto of 'Learning to Sell Ice to Eskimos', since about 5 years ago easily. I believed that was the very nirvana of the Art of Selling and Marketing, when you get to give people what they can otherwise freely get around them, in return for cash. So this is my idea of Selling Ice to an Eskimos. I know it will seem very obvious and DUH even, but somehow it feels like an accomplishment to me that I have finally uncovered to secret to this motto.

1. Clean Ice
Don't you for one moment think that just because you don't live in a pollution-infested city you won't be exposed to the same acidic rainfall and oil spills. Snow and ice scattered everywhere around you are filled with these contaminants, which will as easily cause death as a hungry polar bear (notice I'm using localized terms to make them feel at home with my pitch). Clean water is the only option for everyone, because you shall not compromise when it comes to caring for your family's health. Clean ice ensures that all your glass is filled with contaminate-free and mineral-rich water from the French Springs (total bull crap but it sells), so you can hydrate your body without any fear of dysentery.

2. Cold Water in Winter
'Why do I need to drink cold water in the winter' you ask? Well do you know that drinking cold water burns calories (Okay this bit is absolutely TRUE)? Your body uses 1 calorie to raise 1 gram of water by 1 degree Celsius ( Source: http://recipes.howstuffworks.com/question447.htm). Since your pee is also not ice-cold, this proves that your body actually increases the temperature of the water you take to 37 degree Celsius. This also means that the colder the water when entering your body, the more energy your body needs to bring it up to warmth. Viola! Take that, fitness gyms and weight-loss programs!!!

3. Never About The Ice
Ice distributors like Altas were never about the ice, rather they have always been about the distribution. It is actually a moving company, not an ice producing company. Ice is, by itself, as generic as it can ever be. It flows out of your house tap, costs one sen per thousand liters (totally exaggerated). When you get clean and healthy mineral water packaged in ice cubes and sent to you once a day for a nominal fee, wouldn't you think it's a good deal? I would. Plus, we have good after-sales services and we give a discount on every 100th kg sold to you. All major cards and paypal accepted. Delivery within 4 hours of order. Service with a smile.

Source: http://hollywoodspinster.wordpress.com/2011/08/09/in-dreams-the-spinsters-dating-pool-more-a-puddle-truth-be-told/

4. It's About The Feel
'But if I leave my warm water out in the cold for 2 minutes, it will freeze up anyway. And this is free.' Of course you don't really believe that, do you? Consumers are usually only concerned about one thing when choosing a product: how his choices are reflected in the eyes of others. Do you actually think BMW and Mercedes people are loyal to those brands because they absolutely adore its engineering marvel? Most of them don't even know the difference if given a blind test with both the cars. It is the marketing that got them to desire these brands. Ice is no different. Have you tried drinking a shot of single malt without ice in your glass? Sure you get the full flavor, but you lose the feel. The sound of ice cubes colliding and collapsing as it melts and blends with your whiskey. The way the weight throws around when you disturb the glass as you're talking up this hot Inuit chick with rosy cheeks and cute dimples. It is always about the feel.

'But in these cold weather everything will freeze over in the matter of minutes! How do I get to enjoy the thrashing and clanking of my ice cubes?' May I interest you in these lovely Thermal Glasses? They collect energy from the sun to keep your contents warm and enjoyable. One full charge lasts a whole month, for those 30-days-of-night moments (again, localization of product). Comes in 15 colors and 3 sizes. Collect the whole set!


What do you think?

Sold?

No?

Fuck you 

Shuffle Your Thoughts



Source: http://www.iconarchive.com/



I was reading my sister's blog and I came across this little game. So I thought I'll play along

1. Put your music player on Shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. You must write it down no matter how silly it sounds!

1. What is your Motto? 

The Bad in Each Other - Feist

[Bad habit of seeing negatives first?]

2. What do your friends think of you? 

How to Save a Life - The Fray

[I have no idea what this means]

3. What do you think about very often? 

Sic - Slipknot

[I'm pretty sure I'm not that angry all the time] 

4. What is 2+2? 

Civilization - Danny Kaye and the Andrews Sisters

[ I see what you did there ]

5. What do you think of your best friend? 

Look after You - The Fray

[Yes I am a very caring friend]

 

6. What do you think about the person you like? 

Rebirth - The Metaphor

[Deep]

 

7. What is your life story? 

A Deafening Distance - God is an Astronaut

[I really think there's some magic in this game] 

8. What do you wanna be when you grow up? 
I Will Buy You A New Life - Everclear 

[Shallow. I like myself already]

 

9. What do you think when you see the person you like?

Ball Tongue - Korn

[This is so disturbing I almost didn't want to use this song]

 

10. What do your parents think of you? 

This Velvet Glove - Red Hot Chili Peppers

[Yea sure]

11. What will you dance to at your wedding? 

Why I Don't Believe in God - Everclear

[Fitting]

 

12. What will they play at your funeral? 

Justin - Korn

['F**k All That Bulshit!' Headbanging at A Funeral]

13. What is your biggest secret? 

Tale of A Wooden Door - Silent Scenery

[ Nothing behind that door, really]

It's Okay

Source: http://catofcuriosity.blogspot.com

You always get insulted and beaten up by your father for not being as perfect as he wanted you to be.
It's okay. That way you know how not to treat your son, what not to expect of him and what not to call him.

You find having true friends is hard work and most people are out there just to use you.
It's okay. At least you know your true friends are honest and loyal to you, and you learn to value them all the more.

You get pushed around and bullied around by people wherever you go and whatever you do.
It's okay. At least you learn to defend yourself so you don't get easily cheated and played a fool.

You find that everything you do up until now ends up in failure, and nothing ever turns out right.
It's okay. At least you know of a hundred ways something will not work for you. The hundred and first will probably go your way.

You are not as successful and well to do in your career as your friends and they laugh at you for being a loser.
It's okay. The road less travelled is often misunderstood, but the rewards are more than any highway travelers can comprehend.

You can't seem to handle your finances properly and are always finding yourself in debt.
It's okay. You are still young. At least you're figuring these things out before you start a family.

Your friends and family keeps asking why you're not married yet, and why you a not in a stable relationship.
It's okay. At least you know the real reason is because you're too afraid you'd turn into your dad.

Your mom keeps reminding you of how much a loser your dad is, and that you're turning into him without you realizing.
It's okay. At least you know that at this point the only person you're hurting is yourself.

You are constantly put in place and reminded of how insignificant you are to the world, and how far down the food chain you really are.
It's okay. At least it teaches you to be more humble and to have more gratitude for what you already have.

You are too far down the food chain and you hate not having control over your life.
It's okay. Frustration is the first step to revelation and change.

You find people around you quite annoying and hard to tolerate.
It's okay. You hate them partly because they remind you of you. Now you know how not to act.

You set lifetime targets too high and always fall short of it.
It's okay. Falling short of a target is always better than not having one at all.

Your friends and family always ask why you din't have a proper job and why are you always thinking of doing stupid things. They ask you why can't you be like everyone else.
It's okay. Only 5% of the world's population know their true potential, the rest merely exist for the sake of 

existing.

You made a wrong move that will potentially change the entire course of your life. With an option open, you decide to live by that mistake. Your friends asked if you've lost your mind, and why didn't you take up on the option.

It's okay. The only thing that sets a self-respecting person from the rest o the world are principles. You upheld yours, and you respect yourself for that. 

Note: This is not a personal message, rather a compilation of messages from the people around me

Crush Your Young

Source: http://www.foundshit.com/electric-guitar-key/

Last week newspapers posted an article on reckless driving by under-aged kids which resulted in majority of fatal accidents in Malaysia. Then they went on to talk about pushing the legal driving age up in order to reduce accidents. Their explanation is that younger people are more emotional and get easily enraged when driving.

So here's the thing. Kids running around in their parents' or older siblings' rides is their fault now? What ever happened to safe-keeping your keys? Do they think their kids would push the motorbikes all the way to a locksmith, manage to convince the locksmith he is actually a lot older than he looks, and get the bike started with RM20 he don't have? Parents raising their kids should child-proof their house, and keeping car and motorbike keys out of reach is part of this responsibility. And if their kids rage up, give them a bicycle.

Then there's the part of parents being an example to their children, including while driving. On a typical weekend outing the driver up front, usually a parent, will frantically scream curses and remarks at other drivers for not being able to read their minds and get out of their way. Then they'll also weave recklessly in and out of traffic while trying to teach their children to be 'resourceful' and rules are for pussies. What did you think would happen to the kids when they start driving?

Malaysians are very rude and unethical drivers regardless of age and sex. Also regardless of what car plate we have. I know we are miles better than the likes of Cambodia and Vietnam and that we are starting to see more proper and respecting driver, but still not enough. When stuck in traffic for more than an hour we start raging and throwing tantrums and waving middle fingers. If teenagers are not allowed to get their driving licenses because they could not control their temper, then I think we need to extend the legal driving age to 65, then revoke them at 67 because they have become too old to drive anything. That way we can solve the bad traffic congestion problems too. Stone. Birds.

I think the authorities should not focus on symptoms on a case by case basis, and dig deep to search for the root cause. That way the actual problem gets solved. But who am I to question these very capable and professional people who've gone for expensive training in some European country for months on.