The Failure

Many of us spend our lives trying to keep up with expectations. Expectations set by ourselves, and expectations given to us by those around. With expectations come failure. These are my list of failures for as long as I can remember.

I failed to cause complications during birth. The labor took so long the doctor had to have me pulled out with a clamp to the head.

I failed to keep from crying out loud in restaurants and during my first flight. I know I was very young back then, but some babies don't seem to have problem keeping their mouth shut.

I failed to look at my first day at the kindergarten with positivity, unlike my brother. It says a lot about a person, I was told. And I was constantly reminded of this and many other shortcomings compared to my brother.

I failed to finish my food at the same pace as the rest of the world. There is a set time one is require to finish all his food, and this cannot be changed.

I failed to be able to understand Math and recite the multiplication tables without pausing every now and then.

I failed to be able to talk efforlessly like everyone else.

I failed to come home with straight As on my report card. Keeping it all blue was itself a giant task.

I failed to find myself useful in any form of sports, like every physically active son would. I couldn't run, I couldn't jump, I couldn't handle the handball. I couldn't even hop in a sack.

I failed to take criticism well. I constantly review everything I did, and told myself to never repeat again when I did something wrong. And I would be pretty hard on myself. So when other people told me the same thing, I had problem handling the stress.

I failed to keep a cool head at all times. I tend to overreact to situations, good or bad. I'd then find those reactions very very embarrasing.

I failed to lead and inspire anyone.

I failed to find the correct group of friends who'd stay in libraries and study, and talk about Sengir Vampires and why Neutrons don't have to pay for their drinks in bars.

I failed to start smoking, I failed to not teach people how to smoke, I failed to stop my brother from smoking.

I failed to keep the family in one piece. I failed to keep the both of them from constantly fighting and throwing chairs and fists at each other. I failed to step up and yell at the both of them when I could.

I failed to live up to my family's tradition. I can't read and write, and I can't speak the two most important dialects of my ancestors. Those that I can speak are 'pasar' standard.

I failed to remember all the fishing knots and practices. I failed to remember how to unhook fishes. I failed to remember how to be safe when fishing. Even after years of fishing, I failed at everything.

I failed at not losing anything. My house keys, my dad's watch, my house keys, my handphone, pens, pencils, bags, books.

I failed at not crashing anything into everything. My bike into a motorcycle, an SUV along the side of a car, and a car onto a column.

I failed at getting even the most decent set of scores in my exams.

I failed to choose the area in which I wanted to advance my studies. I failed to not waste their savings on my stupidity.

I failed to get a decent self-respecting job that would've paid me good and given me handsome benefits. I failed to understand the importance of being with majority.

I failed to have a decent relationship with any woman without everything falling apart after only months. Every time.

I will fail to give my parents grand children. Partly because there are too many skeletons all around, and I think it's best to have them buried with me.

I will fail to accept critisicm properly because I will always be very hard on myself for fucking things up again and again.

I will fail to succeed in life because I don't always follow through with my plans.

I will fail to understand unconditional love because I don't believe it exists.

I will fail to accept God because there hasn't been anything Godly in this world as far as I know.

I will fail to understand the sanctity of humanity because I think humans are the most barbaric and uncivilized of all races living on Earth.

I will fail to make anyone proud because that would make me hate myself.

I will fail to be the model person who has absolutely no credit card and car loan debts overdue by the months.

I will fail to get a decent self-respecting job that will pay me for doing just what I should.

I will fail to settle.

I will fail to be smart and experienced, because before I become smart enough in an area I move on to something else I'm completely idiot in.

I will fail to live until the age of 75 with 3 kids and 9 grand kids and a loving wife and a big bungalow with a big land and 3 dogs running around the green lawn.

So far I can say I haven't succeeded in anything expected of me. Yes I got into drugs and street gangs too. I stole. But no killings and rapings and robbings. That's not enough for the society. They expect model samaritans with a constant smile on the face and a perfect hair cut. They want ties and suits, they want absolute conformity.

I will fail at that too, conforming for the sake of conforming.

The Rapid Decline

Source: http://www.vincentchow.net/wp-content/uploads/2006/10/lrt.jpg

See, I've got a new template! I know it's still one of those default ones that don't require brains to change. I know how to edit the HTML in Blogger, just too lazy to make things complicated. Hard enough to always have to replace HTML codes for Nuffnang. And I've inserted Share and +1 buttons! Up to date, kan?

On to more pressing matters.

Lately the traffic have been a bitch, worse when it rains during rush hour ( which is nearly everyday now). Worst when it rains during the rush hour of a Friday. We hate getting stuck in our cars for hours. There's no place to pee, our asses are numb, the radio blare rubbish all the time, drivers get cranky and rude as if they're the only ones stuck in the jam, and you see the start of your weekend wither away. You can't smoke because a storm is riding outside, and you get more annoyed with BFM DJs constantly going UHHH AHHH ERRR between every word.

So driving in KL really sucks because on top of the bad traffic jams we also have a severe lack of parking lots in every single shop-office, office building and shopping mall. Developers officially have to adhere to strict guidelines to the amount of parking lots they must provide based on the number of shop/office/retail lot they offer. But with a little stack of cash, that strict guideline can always be altered. So developer pay a lot to build more retail/office/shop lots and less parking spaces, as this makes them more money. There you have it, the developers started it, and we Malaysians did the rest; double and triple-park.

On a different matter all together, MALAYSIA is not pronounced MALAYSSSSSIA, but MalaySHia. If you want to ber-bahasa baku, call it MALAI-SIA. Please don't be smart. If it is in English, then it shall be pronounced in English.


But what are the alternatives? Well we have public transportation! Once (many many years ago) proudly bragged as one of the best public transportation system in South East Asia (no need for references), now drowning in a sea of it's own shit with no chance of survival even with government intervention.

Bus
A long, long time ago there was the legendary Mini Bus. If you have had the luxury of being a customer to this, now mythical creature, pink rocket you'd agree when I say: Take The Mini Bus and You're Guaranteed To Arrive 10 Minutes Early. Always. The Mini Bus were efficient, most efficient Malaysia has ever seen a bus company operate. Why? Because bus drivers and their conductors were given a handsome cut of the day's profits by the operators. This motivated the hardworking lot to keep pushing for time.
Fine the drivers were mad and I remember hanging out of the main door a few times because it was so packed with passengers. And they were not air-conditioned, but that was because at that time all buses were not air-conditioned.

Then they were abolished, torn down, god knows why. The buses were sent to serve in cities in Sabah and Sarawak. I don't know if they're still running around towns there, or if they're as brutal as before. From KL Klang to City Liner and Intrakota, all companies fail, consolidate, and fail again until the government finally stepped in and reclaimed everything under the name of Rapid (insert city name). Why have they been failing? Because they suck. Bus lanes are never effective anywhere in town, and because the buses were always at least half-an-hour late, nobody dare rely their time on these worthless trash.

Taxi
Ah, the cab service in KL. Where shall I begin? They charge you RM 20 to take you from KLCC to Pavilion, they are not well groomed, they smell bad, they dress dirty, they don't comb their hair, they spit like camels, they smoke in the taxis, their taxis are smelly and dirty and filled with fleas, and they never take you anywhere you wanna go because they want to avoid the traffic.
Most of them drive like complete idiots, others don't know their way around town. Some tell you sob stories of their sad families and then ask you for extra money. Some also take the longer route to your destination and try to rob you of as much cents as possible.
And now we have the blue taxis, which are supposed to be more professional. I just see it as different package, same product. Unreliable.

LRT
We have 2 major LRTs in town, both circle the least densely populated parts of the Valley. Not in a good way, because all the land surrounding most stops are filled with houses. No apartments, no empty land for development. To be fair, save a few stops: University, Bangsar and KL Sentral. You can cross between the two lines somewhere in town but you'd have to run across the road under the rain. They breakdown so often it's no longer funny.
That many years ago the Putra Line (now KJ Line) was built to accommodate current demands of that time, so they built a line that could take a 2-coach train at a time (probably not an accurate figure, but you get the point). Today if you're waiting for the train in the morning to get to work, you'll have to let at least 4 trains pass before you can board into one.
The funniest thing is, to get to an LRT station you have to drive. And the LRT people don't provide ample parking lots for customers, causing severe double and triple parking problems all over.

Monorail
By far the most waste-money rail in the history of all waste-money rails in Malaysia. It's expensive, it's always late, it's slow, it's small, and it doesn't go anywhere other LRTs don't also stop.

No I have nothing else to say about this useless rail system.

KTM Komuter
Okay this line is actually quite useful, but that's because it's an actual train transportation system revamped by KTM. I think it was quite a successful project, considering others.

The Problem
The problem is not in bad public transportation management, it's in the unwillingness to improve on them. Why? Proton and Perodua need customers, no? Do you think if our public transportation system is as efficient as Shanghai's we'd bother buying cars? Maybe just us few who actually love driving. Then the LRT stations were built on lands owned by friends of families of some Masonians (pure baseless assumption).

The Paradox
The bigger problem actually lies with us, the operators and the consumers. Taxi drivers don't want to go into traffic-congested parts of the city, so they'd rather lose business. Then they complain they don't have business. Then they say they cut cost by not cutting their hairs, leaving their beards, and showering once every two days. Then they say the meters a causing them to lose money because the cost is higher. Then they charge people a crazy RM20 just to get behind KLCC. Then people don't take their cabs because they smell bad and they con. Then they don't get business.
Then everyone would rather drive, causing traffic jams all over town. And that will prevent taxi drivers from ever wanting to enter those areas for fear of getting stuck in traffic.

Conclusion
Until teleportation gets invented or oil completely runs out before a proper electric car gets invented, don't expect rush hour traffic jams to go away. Don't expect taxi drivers to dress well and smell good. Don't expect the Mini Bus to return.

Times Questions The Free Market

I woke up this morning and I see an article from Times questioning free market like I did a few weeks back. Perhaps I should quickly finalise my answer to the crisis before someone else does. Nobel Prize!!! *drool* Anyway here is the article http://curiouscapitalist.blogs.time.com/2011/09/30/state-capitalism-vs-the-free-market-which-performs-better/