I never understood what it all meant. Probably it's because I grew up not knowing the true meaning of it. To me marriage was always simply humanity's need to be normalized into society's behaviors. Procreation and the need to ensure survival of the species is just another word for the insatiable need to quench one's thirst for lust. If everyone is doing it, so should we. My parents want to have grand kids, so lets give them grand kids. So we've been going out for a million years now, getting married is the only logical course of action. I don't want to die alone or surrounded by cats who'd, out of hunger, eat me.
You see, my family never understood true unconditional love. I don't refer to my extended family, what they do is none of my concern. Mom and dad only ever know how to fight with each other, curse at each other, and throw chairs at each other. There was a lot of hate in the house where I grew up. Not that I cared, it gave me the perfect opportunity to start smoking and drinking and clubbing (called discos back then) and running around with parangs (not what you think, really). You get the picture. I never agreed to LOVE and MARRIAGE and FAMILY and bla bla bla. Well not until quite recently.
Have you hung out with a couple who'd keep looking at each other and nodding at each other, not saying anything to each other, and knowing exactly what they were talking about? It's like they went to telepathy school.
Do you have a friend so close to you, you'd psychoanalyze all the girls he went out with and keep telling everyone nobody is good enough for him? And then suddenly this one comes along and somehow all you could ever do is nod and nod and nod... and smile?
Then there's this couple who'd spend an entire day in the cyber cafe, each doing their own stuff and playing their own games, not talking to each other, and call it a good date.
And then this girl who'd always complain about her man, about how silly he is and how he can't do this or do that. And all the while she was complaining, she had this uncontrollable smile across her face - the smile that says 'I love him I love him I love him'.
Then a very beautiful girl who met this boy when he was in deep shit with no money or anything to his name, stuck by him through thick and thin, even when business ventures turned bad. But every time I meet up with them, I know as long as they stick together they can weather any storm. The boy, by the say, can make his eyes disappear just by smiling. And he looks like a pear now. Yes, his mom agrees.
There's this guy, who the girl chose over a rich boy (he now owns a Ferrari and all the lots). Even after 4 kids, they would steal each other out for dinner dates. They still look at each other with those eyes, those feelings, like they've just met and they were full of puppy love. They make mistakes together, accept them and move on. They don't own fancy cars or big houses or enterprises, but they have each other. And really that is all that matters.
I know what it means now. Not that I am ready to embrace it, I still don't think it's my kind of thing. But I understand it. It was never about the diamonds or cars or shiny branded stuff or financial stability. It was never about making their parents happy or doing what everyone else is doing simply because. It's about being able to finish each other's sentences, about knowing exactly what the other wants just by looking at their faces, about feeling the warmth of each other even in the coldest end of the world.
Fancy birthday and anniversary celebrations are for teenagers. After a while these things will mean nothing anymore, and what is left will be the unspoken affection they have for each other. When they can sit down for dinner, like every dinner before this, eating without saying a thing to each other, proceed to watch a movie, like every other day before this, and go home knowing they've spent another eventful day with the person they love the most.
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