Myvi Convoy: Theoretical Fun and Real Nightmare

Whenever we're on Interstate Highways we see convoys. Porsches, Harleys, Ferraris and other whatnots. So it seemed fun, convoys. So we sat down one day and decided that we should have a convoy too. What sort of cars should we all bring for the convoy? Porsches? Ferraris? Hayabushas? No. Because we're all poor and sad, and cars in Malaysia are either Oh-My-Effing-God-300-Percent expensive or Piece-Of-Crap self destructive, we all happen to have a Perodua Myvi lying around in our porches. Why do we all have one of those, you ask? Because that's the only bloody car Fifty Thousand bucks can buy you that won't fall apart between Tg Malim and Kampung Keling. 

So now we need an event to convoy to, we thought. Along comes a friend inviting us all to his wedding at Mentakab. YAY, we thought. A chance to bring out all the Myvis for an awesome convoy! We started counting the number of Myvis we could muster, and there were 9. Nine!!! There's no need for so many, so we took 5 instead. Five Myvis will be travelling to Mentakab. Cool. 

We always imagined convoys to be cool, fun and exciting ( they all mean the same but sound different). With an elephant's enthusiasm, we set out after having met up and distributed Talkies to every car. That's seven talkies, including the Wedding Mobile and another Proton. We'll leave Section 8 in PJ, drive to Section 16, to Mont Kiara and use the DUKE Highway towards Genting. Smiles ran ear to ear as every single one of us departed, knowing for sure we'll love every moment of this trip. 

As soon as we left, Talkies blared, one idiot after another screaming bulshit, myself included. From this moment on, disasters stroke us, one after another. As we approached Rothman's Round-about, cars were already left behind. Because these talkies only have 2-KM radial reception, and the cars were further apart than that, directions did not get through. Then just as we were already getting frustrated by missing cars, the worst thing happened: we started following random Myvis by accident. Let me explain how this happened. 

Perodua Myvi was sold in many various colors, including Black, Grey, Blue-Grey, Silver, Red and White. So happened our cars were all Black, Grey and Silver, and these colors happen to be best-sellers. On top of that, because the Myvi is a 'Cheap and Cheerful' car, every Tom, Dick, Harry and Sally owns one. Imagine now how many Myvis you will bump into on the road. Not exactly a Buffori. On top of that, cars costing 50 grand won't exactly come with cool numbers like 1 or 65 or 168. We'd rather use the 3k to replace the lousy sound system in the Myvi with a Bang & Olufsen (as if 3k can buy us anything from B&O). If you want a cheap car, get  a Myvi. If you want a spacious car, get a Myvi. If you want a cool car, get a Myvi. If you want good resale value, get a Myvi. 

So, yes. WRG 7419 looked quite similar to WRA 2974 at 11 pm. And Silver is Silver. We decided to use hand phones now. Called everyone to meet up at the KFC along Jalan University. We met, and the beautiful smiles just moments ago seen were now gone. Far gone. From now on, the Wedding car will lead. Best decision, we all thought. Anyone randomly following a wrong carefully wedding-dressed, champagne colored Hyundai Sonata would either be the unluckiest or dumbest person in the world. No more problems this time, only that we had to use toll-free roads all the way to Genting Highway. What would've taken 5 minutes on the DUKE cost us 45. By the time we were on the Genting road, it was already pass midnight.

There's a crucial moral to this story, in case you haven't yet caught it. We all either have a Myvi at home or drive one of our own. If you ever decide to have a convoy to God-Knows-Where in Myvis with talkies as communicators at night when you can't agree whether or not to use toll-free roads, don't. Do Not! If it's a convoy you want, go buy a Nissan Sunny 120Y. At least you won't end up following someone else. And that car is surprisingly reliable, even after 20 years. And you get a black Absorber Bumper too. No Bang and Olufsen there.