Cross Out the Cuckoos

I sat down one day with some friends planning their wedding dinner, and we were talking about invites. There was a constant dilemma on this topic. On one hand there are not enough tables, because they have to allocate tables for relatives and close families. Then there's the problem of inviting one person, and not not inviting the others in his/her group who you're actually not too close with, but may end up inviting to prevent that one friend from feeling bored and the rest feeling left out. I don't know if it will help much, but I have prepared a checklist of people you wouldn't want to invite, and why.

People Who Don't Remember You
In life we constantly come across people who are nice to talk to and maybe even hang out with, but could never progress to deeper levels of friendship. Don't waste your time on them, because they wouldn't be bothered even if you died. Worst off, you have to invite their partners so he/she won't feel so bored, which is a complete waste of seats.

College Friends 
Although epic times, most college friendships don't last long. And by the time college/university is over everybody will go their own separate ways, never to contact each other again. You spend at most 3 years with them, and that was some 10 years ago. Save your seats for people who matter more.

Your Exes
Unless you have both managed to become bffs after, especially, bad break ups, please do not make it hard for your exes. You may not think it, but inviting your ex to your wedding is the single most evil thing one can ever do to their past loves.

Just Ones
Sometimes you meet one person whom you can get along with very well, but find that you can't get along with his/her friends and neither can he/she with yours. Inviting one person would cause extreme boredom and ultimately a bad experience at your wedding. But how many of his/her friends would you invite then? My advise, cross his/her name from your list. When asked, just say you have too many relatives to invite and not enough seats for friends.

Contractors and Suppliers
Seriously, you have a wedding dinner to celebrate your union with friends and family. And contractors and suppliers are neither friend nor family. Don't use your wedding dinner to lick their boots. Your wives will appreciate your ability to detach from work at least that once.

Not-Really Friends
There will be people who envy and hate you for whatever reason. Don't ever think " it's the right thing to do" and invite them anyway. Don't waste your resources on these filthy mongrels. You should be happy and completely disconnected from hate and vengeance.

Children
Kids laugh, cry, whine, run around, throw things, vomit and poop everywhere. Plus chances are they won't remember who's wedding they attended, and who you are even. Ask their parents to keep them at home with a sitter.

Great Grand Relatives
With super old people you have a new set of problems: food, air-conditioning, duration of the dinner, Sharks Fin Soup. Old people cannot eat solid food so you'll have to get them meshed up shit. They hate the cold and warm so your air-conditioner temperature must be optimal. They cannot sit too long so you'll need to rush out the dishes before they pester their kids to leave. They think it's blasphemous not to have shark's fin as it will tell relatives that they're too poor to afford. Keep these old farts at home, and have your wedding the way you want it.

Friends' girl/boyfriends
Chances are you'll be wasting precious seats to people whom you'll probably never see again. Boy/girlfriends come and go, and they will never know the value of attending your wedding dinner.

Karaoke Junkie Relatives
Avoid at all costs. If you can't, then make sure there's nothing close enough to a karaoke machine in the hall. Some may even ask that you just play the song and they sing along on stage with the microphone. Get a jazz band to occupy the space. Anything to keep these junkies off the mic.

There you go, 10 types of people you should avoid inviting should you need to filter. Because frankly you don't need a dinner with 60 tables if half of them are not real friends and family. Wife would agree to divert those expenses to your honeymoon.