Drivers We All Love

We hate it, rude and reckless drivers. We hate it because we chose to be civil and abide by the road rules, yet they get to weave in and out of lanes however they please. We hate it because we wait patiently in line while they simply overtake from the emergency lane and force their way back into traffic way in front of us. We hate the way they beat traffic lights when we need to stop for them. We hate their inability to allow cars from slip streams or other lanes make lane-changes. We hate it when they tailgate you on the highway and keep flashing their headlights to get you to give way.  We hate their lack of respect for our attempt at showing some respect for each other on the road. We hate the fact that they are so arrogant because they drive expensive cars and we don't.

What goes through our heads when they do these things to us is that they must be laughing at us and calling us stupid idiots for not doing what they did. And that gets our tempers flared up. That pisses us off. That makes us swear that next time won't be that easy. Next time we will not let them pass! But what if next time, the person trying to pass has a pregnant passenger who's water just broke and is going into labour? What if the one you will not allow to pass is having diarrhoea and is rushing to the nearest toilet before it explodes? What if the next one is actually rushing to hospital? Recent newspaper article proves that most Malaysians, in emergencies, do not rely on Ambulances to take them to hospitals.

So they drive their own cars. Their cars, like ours, do not have the words AMBULANS written across the front. They do not have sirens on their roofs. They may be SUVs, they may be sedans. They may also be one of those lala-fied Wajas that look like a 5 Series. What is important is that they may be rushing to prevent a death. May I ask you now, how much do you have to lose when you allow them passage? What do you have to sacrifice whenever you let them through? I know that you may save a life.

Sure most of the time the ones you meet on the roads will be the ones who laugh at you and call you stupid for waiting in line instead of using the emergency lane. We will just have to be the kind of drivers who adhere to road rules because they are there for a reason. And we will also allow reckless drivers pass because one in the ten you let pass will be on their way to the hospital, and they will thank you in their hearts for your kindness and for not being judgemental. Their loved ones will be saved. They will in the future learn to let other reckless drivers pass because they know that one in ten will be rushing to a hospital. We're not here to teach each other lessons in life. But again, I don't get myself stuck in daily rush hour traffic as often as most I know so I'm not really in the place to preach.

Just Business

Few days ago many talked about the recent Energizer Night Run that ended in chaos as nothing went according to plan. A fellow blogger rants http://roundsquaretable.blogspot.com/2011/04/extremely-nightmarish-run-fka-as.html. 

No, it's not Energizer's fault. Yes, it is Energizer's fault. Frankly who cares. The damage has been done, and we're all just glad nobody got hurt. Would someone get hurt running in circles around an F1 track for 3 hours? Why not. Outsiders look at Marathon runners like they're a bunch of idiots running on straight lines for hours on end, and for what? They don't understand that for every 42km a runner braves, he/she will need to breach The Wall at least 2-3 times. This Wall is a moment when your mind tells your body you have reached limit, that going on is a practical impossibility. When the runner breaches the limit he/she would have gotten mentally stronger. Most of the time one's body can take a lot more than the mind tells them it can. Problem is whenever a runner (athlete) breaches The Wall he/she will run the risk of reaching the actual physical limit. When the actual limit is reached, the runner's body will shut down. So each time the runner decides to breach his (her) mental limit, he trusts his life to the organisers of the events that he will be in good hands should he drop unconscious by the road. 

I have seen days when adventure racers die crashing onto boulders and dropping into pits. They were caused by a series of events that began from one common source: The Organisers. The organisers under pay and over work their staff, hire inexperience ones because they're cheaper. Hang them on technical sections for 9 hours without the possibility for them to even go for toilet break, which means they would not dare to drink anything. Hook them up to 300 odd racers and make sure they're safe before hauling them down a 100 meter quarry cliff. 

The staff had less than 8 hours of sleep, no breakfast, no water, standing under the hot sun from 7am to 4pm. How can he not screw up? I know. I was there. This was what happened.

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2002/10/24/nation/ipdie&sec=nation

Then we have tragic stories like this one. 

http://starbucks87dude.blogspot.com/2010/06/runner-dies-in-standard-chartered-kl.html

Who would have thought running in the middle of the city could pose so much threat? What is the possibility that a runner can collapse in the middle of a race track and did not receive treatment? What were the paramedics doing? Were there even trained paramedics in the field, or were they Bulan Sabit Merah kids from highschools? What caused the organisers to think for one moment that marathon running was a walk in the park? 

Race organisers nowadays are cocky and lack passion. They think just because they walked out of some foreign university holding a Degree or Masters, they can organise any 'Simple Marathon Race'. They think they can make some quick buck by stinge-ing with things here and there. May I provide you with an idea: run a race before learning how to organise one. Don't blame the sponsors for not providing enough budget. It is your responsibility to ensure the safety of all athletes, because they put their lives in your hands. 

Do you know that when you have 10'000 athletes participating in your event, you hold their lives in your, hopefully, capable hands? Or is it all Just Business? 

Zebra Crossings: The Future of Mankind

If you lived or travelled and drove around overseas, you would realise there is a universal rule to Zebra Crossings. A certain rule that is, oddly, not practised here in Malaysia. There is a kind of balance everyone in the Roads Ministry have always been trying to attain. It is the harmony between the wheels and the legs. Many time they are thrown the ultimate question: when in a junction, who gives way to who? What dictates superiority, flesh or steel?

All around the established world, this has been a rule of thumb. In a junction govern by traffic lights, legs only move when the lights are red. And in a junction paved with Zebra Crossings, wheels wait for the legs. Now if you have never had the luxury of travelling to places out of Malaysia, not even Singapore ( God bless your soul), you won't understand the system I just presented. In Malaysia, steel dominates simply because they usually do all the killing. Normally I would agree with the practices of the West because they would always spend decades of trial-and-error killing their own kind, and finally stick to the method they believe is most effective. But not this.

Have you driven in Singapore or Australia? Do you know how bloody annoying it is to be waiting for flocks and flocks of people to cross the junction? If you don't get what I mean, here's an example:

Imagine that you're in a Star Craft game. Just as you've completed your Gateway, you see one marine walk in and firing away at your buildings. You dread at the crappy speed your zealot is taking to warp in. As it reaches it easily takes down the marine. Peace and quiet returned as you turned to focus on the economy again. Then comes another marine, wrecking what minute amounts of havoc with that Nerf Gun. It's not life threatening, this Marine Stream Theory. But it is annoying. It takes your attention off the important stuff, and it never stops irritating you. Because it comes in one by one by one by one.

You stopped at the junction. Two people cross. You're about to accelerate once they've passed, but there was another group of 5. Then another 1. And another 3. And another 5. And another 1. And another 1. When will you ever be able to leave that wretched Crossing?

I believe the Zebra Crossing is officially obsolete. The world's economic efficiency is at stake here. More zebra crossings mean CEOs will arrive to work later in their chauffeur-driven Phantoms, have less time to sign the papers, do less trading, have less time to source new business ventures for their companies, and ultimately contributing less to the world trade as a whole. Then it will trickle down to us. We'll have less year-end bonuses, won't be able to afford the iPad 3, and may eventually die from overwork if you're with PwC.

Malaysian Guide to a Fast Car

To all you petrol heads out there, this is what you know: Malaysia imposes a levy of up to 300% for imported cars Completely Built-Up and Completely Knocked-Down. So cars are expensive, and most of us law-abiding Samaritans could only ever dream of owning a 400bhp+ car in our lifetimes. 90% of people can never feel the power of a simple 200bhp ride. Or can they?

Many years ago, the Malaysian auto parts market has been trading some shady stuff. Serious shady stuff. Nano Technology. Stickers and light bulbs that can give cars actual horse powers. Dear noobs, allow me to present you a guide to building a fast car only in Malaysia. Seriously. Build it anywhere else and it most probably won't work at all! Must be the odd magnetic vibe here so near the Equator. Singapore is not the same thing.

1. Eye Lid ( 3 BHP)
Got sappy and miserable 6-Series headlamps? Worry not. Slap on a pair of lids and see your car increase in power and aggro cred. Your car looks meaner now more than ever. Don't take my word for it, go onto the streets and stare your opponents' cars into pulp!

2. 'Sponsor' Stickers (1 BHP each)
Go to more flea markets, get to know more auto retail staffs. Buy, beg, trade or steal them. Stick them on your car fenders, hood, bumpers, anywhere you can possibly fill. Don't know where? Google up photos of GT cars and learn from them! Got them backwards? No problem! They work the same.

3. Low Rider (3 BHP)
Cars must have a lowered ride feel, regardless of whether they actually contribute to better handling. Don't bother replacing your existing coils with a harder one. In Malaysia, cutting your existing coils is the way. Cut an inch, and see you shave away time on century sprint!

4. Cheap White Lights (5 BHP)
Super cars spot thousand-Ringgit Bi-Xenons and HIDs. Do not despair. The local market sells cheap bulbs with added feature; power. 2 bulbs is all it takes to increase your car's power by 5 bhp. Your new Lampu Putih Cap Brothers will make tailgating an awesome sport. See them foam up in their mouths as you approach (with, hopefully, your other mods that add to power). Changing your lamps, just a myth! It's okay if you can't see the road, as long as people can see your lights.

5. Ultimate Wings ( 7 BHP)
Don't be cheap. Get one that can catch a hurricane! The bigger the better. At home in your porch it doubles as a sun deck for your clothes, salted fish and pets. At Titiwangsa it doubles as a picnic table.

7. Hood Scoop (5 BHP)
Go out and hunt for some sick looking hood scoops. One for good style, two for better power output. Just slap them onto your car hood. Don't worry, they don't have to lead anywhere. Drive your car fast enough so nobody will notice.

8. M3 Shark Gills ( 3 BHP each)
Ever wondered what you'll want your competition to see on your car when you're making an overtake? Let it be your powerful M-Sport Gills. It breathes fire when you're not looking!

9. Big-Ass Exhausts (10 BHP)
Size does matter. Get them so big you can fit your head in! Have them loud. Because speed is measured in decibels.

10. Brakes?
Brakes? What's that? Oh the Chicken Pedal! No you don't need those things. Remove your stocks if you want, as they add to weight. Real men don't use brakes!

This is just a preview of what magnificence you can do to your ride with just a little bit of money. It's okay if we can't afford Lamborghinis and Ferraris. These mods will add an approximate of up to 42 bhp without counting how many car stickers you have!! Holy shit, no wonder so many cars out in the streets are modified this way!

If you want to turn your cars into ultimate speedsters, you'll have to purchase my book entitled Speed: Way of the Pariahs. In this book I will reveal the secret to making a Proton Saga win a Supra on straight-lines.

Rococo

Every now and then I go through my friends' Facebook and Flickr photos. I see their lives presented in a digital lightbox. Left click and there's more. People show their stories in photos. What they do, where they went. Who they like and who they don't. Things that they ate, things that they would like to eat, and things they wish they could eat.

If the entire human existence can be summed up by a visual time line, we're living in a little pocket of peace and prosperity. Fair enough war is still being waged in some parts of the world where certain individuals need to be properly educated on the concept of freedom. They need to be taught the ideology  of The Collective can no longer be accepted. But think about it, when has there been a time in the entire human history where war was not being waged somewhere. Considering all the above, it's safe to consider this a little pocket of peace and prosperity.

Why is it so? Because conglomerates are busy developing new consumer-end technologies instead of missiles that can smell and track down the unclean asses of enemies. Because new cars do not brag their ability to withstand bombings. Because your refrigerators are not lined in lead so you have a place to hide in case of a nuclear attack. Because your birthday wishlist does not include a Glock.

Look at your friends' photos. See how they smile. Absorb the emotion they had when the picture was taken. Look at their surroundings. No ruined cities, no land mine signs, no homeless people in ragged clothes. All so properly dressed and hair properly coiffured, everyone cultured and educated and opinionated and in control of their surroundings.

If our national heroes would look down upon us and see what is it we're doing with the freedom they paid with their lives to obtain, I bet they're quite happy. True there are still kinks here and there we still need to fix, but all in all I say we're doing fine.

Remember now that this period, like the Renaissance, is very temporary. There will come a day when all this peace and prosperity will disappear. Because humanity cannot survive without war. Because humanity cannot survive without the destruction of each other. Because humanity breathes politics and feed on hate. So my advise is that we should enjoy this moment before it goes away.It will go away, this weekend coffee and cakes, this photography club, this Sunday lap at Sepang. We show off our new rides and houses and clothes because we are lucky. Decades ago people compare shooting accuracy and lost limbs.